WARNING: COMPLAINING GRUMPY PANTS AHEAD

So, um, AH.  I am [back] in the Beam of Doctors class, and I am yet again, blogging.  I was on Spring Break last week, and I spent it doing sound [and when I say "doing sound" I mean, I pressed play on the CD player] for Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss.  Twas fun, and it was great to be apart of my third Seuss show.  Yes, third.

Right now, I am very, very overwhelmed with everything.  So much work, and the problem is, I have no focus.  All I want to do is look up videos on the internet and read books.  I've cut out books and the Sims right now, because if I don't I'll have no focus at all.  I should have worked on work during Spring Break, bhut, I didn't.

Company stuff, AH, so much.  Like, I want to like the company, I do, but all I really want to do is sleep forever.  I feel semi-sort of depressed because I sort of went to college for acting, and I've developed very little.  I should have auditioned the first time I came, but my confidence and my nerves got the better of me.  I am so uncomfortably shy, and this bothers me as well.  I know how to act, but when I know people are watching, I freak out.  Being myself is so easy for me; if you don't like me, I don't really care.  BUT if you think my portrayal of someone else or something else is weird or not right and if you judge me, it just gets me off and it bothers me. BUT if I feel like I know what I'm doing and it makes sense, then I don't care.

None of this is making sense and I really don't know what I'm typing at this point because I did nothing but write a Beam test for 5 hours last night, and although I got in bed in time, I feel like my sleep level is wayyy off.  I brought my Snuggie today so I can nap all day in the library.  But I won't get to because I have to write stuff for French.

I'm costume chair thing for the company show; I have a French Quiz Bowl I'm helping out with; I'm doing costumes for the class I'm auditing; I have two research papers; I'm in a show at school; and I don't know, I just want to die.  And when I say "die," I mean sleep forever and forever.

Tonight I'm going to play board games at Kelly's house.  I'll be grumpy and whiny; I'll warn the lot of you now.  Chris summarizes it as "grumpy pants," and he has a voice and a little jig to go with the phrase.  We went to Jessup's one night and I spent the entire night being a bear and sleeping on the floor, and I finally cried in Chris' car with fatigue.  I don't handle sleep lackage very well.

I'm going to quit typing because this is all a "I am sad, and grumpy, and tired."  Perhaps I'll write a blog later today that isn't so...grumpy.

-Me