"I am goi-ng to die-ei-ei"

So.  I love snow.  But snow + me does not equal a happy combination; expecially once I am very stupid.  When it comes to book sense; I am a genius.  Just like my dad, who really is a genius.  My mom on the other hand, has almost no book sense [she asked me what 'in theory' meant the other day], but unlike dad, she is the pinical of common sense.  Dad has none.  And I, have none.

I am a genius; but I am very, very stupid.

So, Monday rolls around and school is canceled.  As I have sadly been spending the majority of my days inside playing the Sims 3 for 12 hours or slowly trekking through the bore fest that is called The Chronicles of Narnia [Before you say anything wait until I finish The Last Battle; It's all I've got left, and I having to make myself read for the sake of finishing the series], I thought it might be wise if I went out and enjoyed the snow I loved so dearly.

I put on:
3 pairs of socks
1 set of leggings
3 pairs of pants
1 thermal shirt
2 sweatshirt
1 pair of galoshes
2 scarves
1 hat
1 pair of gloves
1 extra fluffy down coat that was my grandmothers and looks exactly like this:

I tell no lies.

My mother stated the obvious: "It's not that cold."  But, I know how cold I get and 8 layers are 8 layers of extra warmth in the cold.

So, once no one has ever taken a picture of snow, I thought I would take the only camera I have, which is on my cell phone, and take pictures of said snow.  I put it in my puffy pocket and marched onward, with my very wild and ugly dog accompanying me into the wilderness.  

My nam3 is amos and i is ugly.  i do dumb things lyk chew stuff n eat cat food.  rachel does no like me bcause i is ugly and i chew on her nice things.  :(  but i like to play alots.

Oh we had a jolly time at first; I walked on a path I had never taken before and ended up somewhere that I ended up recognizing.  I wrote 'HP&RA" in the snow, but then the Amos decided to destroy it before I had even finished the 'P' so, so much for that relationship.

My 8 layers proved to be a silly choice, and eventually I flopped in the snow in dismay.  Amos proceeded to run many circles around me and steal my hat out of my pocket.  So, as we walked along the path to my house (only about 30 feet away), I trip on a rock and my cell phone flies out of my hand.  I panicked a little.  Snow is everywhere; burgundy and white make a clean match, I should find it.  Right.  Right?  Right?!  

I look and look; mom sees me and comes out on the porch to holler at me, asking how it's going.  "Fine."  I have to find it before I see her; because she'll get mad at my irresponsibility and I'll be in trouble.  After about 15 minutes, I give up and tell her.  She fusses and then dresses in random sets of clothing, fussing about how dense and klutzy I was, why did I take it, etc.

I had to run and get the snow shovels and she set out to clearing the path, looking everywhere for that phone.  We dug for three hours.  I'm afraid to say I wasn't the biggest help.  First I would lean on my shovel in a very dramatic way and pray to find my phone.  After that, I more or less moped, and then after I was done with that I would angrily look through the snow.  I had given my gloves to Mom, and she would ask me if I wanted them.  "No!  I am not worthy of a luxury like gloves; this is my fate!  I am the worse person ever, rar, rar, etc."  Mom would just sigh and say, "no you're not, you're just klutzy."  We tore the path a part, and then the dog ran circles and made lots more unnecessary places in the snow.

Usually Amos would prove a pest and find my phone and successfully chew it to pieces.  BUT, the one time I want him to find something he does not.  *SIGHHH*

We went out again Tuesday, but that proved unbeneficial as well.  I now have mom's Phone for the Technologically Repressed but it's kind of nice to only have to talk to her.  I have to buy my new phone, which I don't really mind because I was given 200 dollars this Christmas.  BUT, I think a dazzling new iPhone may be what I obtain next, which would be amazing, and maybe I wouldn't drop it in the snow and loose it forever (Maybeee...).  Only problem with this is that I'll have to wait about a month until it is mine.  In the mean time, what is there to do?  Borrow a phone; use mom's phone that is only a step away from a Jitterbug. It's not so much that I really care to have a phone, because I sort of hate people, but, in this society, with me driving to and from school, I sort of need it.

Speaking of driving to school, I had to drive today and it made me very, very angry.  I drove mom's car Subie, because we're don't quite feel like getting Sevy out, and mom doesn't trust my driving skills on icy roads.  So, I popped in ABBA (My snow defeating music) and drove to school.  The roads were not bad at all, but my effing windshield on the other hand was.  It was absolutely covered in dirt/salt/nasty mush, and the freaking windshield fluid stuff was frozen and the STUPID SUN is shining constantly and I was angry ya'll.  I kept making up songs about how I was going to die, as ABBA played on.

SO, I hope the hopelessly dramatic, pathetically boring, and overwhelmingly stupid actions of yours truly make you feel a little bit better about yourself.

-Me