My life has become a Pink song

Hey, hey?  Remember me?  Rachel?  The owner of this blog?  I bet you thought I died, didn't you?  Well I haven't.  Glory be, isn't that fabulous.

So, right now, I'm sitting backstage of our opening of I Hate Hamlet.  I was assigned props assistant, and whatever, I do stuff.  They break lots of vases.  Volpi is shirtless.  If your into that kind of thing, his shirtless hugs are kind of nice.  But he's still a tool.  And he knows he's getting nothing from me.  Except disdain.  I hand that out freely.

I'm also props masta [holla] for Sweeney Todd and I do blood and I think I'm going to have to make lots of meat pies.  And that's gross, and I can't really cook and stuff, but whatever.  I think I'm going to hold a meat pie baking party and everyone can make pies while I watch Jane Eyre on repeat or something.

I'm in Pottermore too.  It's sort of become an obsession, and my life [literally] revolves around making virtual potions.  And yes, this is sad, but it's also fun and I'm earning house points for the house cup, and yes, we're leading (with the least members, mind you,) because we're the ambitious crew.

I thought I was in Gryffindor for like, ever, and I really wanted to be that, but no, I got Gryffindor's rival, Slytherin.  I was like, "there is no way I'll be that house," and then I was sorted, and what do you know, Slytherin.  And this is J.K. Rowling's quiz, so it's as legit as they come.  So, at first, I had a mild identity crisis, like, "do I know myself?!"  And then I realized, omg, I am a Slytherin, and ya'll, it was like I truly understood myself for the first time, and now I'm embracing the hippogriffs out of it, because this is my house.  You know?  It's so clear now.  I've been changed.  Or at least I truly know who I am.  I'm selfish, but ambitious, determined, cunning, traditional, etc.  It's like, WHOA, I found where I belong.

So yes, I've felt ties to my house, and yes, I'm as obsessed with it as one would be with a sports team or something.  And yes, now I have to buy a new lanyard, because my old one is Gryffindor, and that just don't go ya'll.

I've been very anti-social lately, and you know, whateves.  It's just like, I want to be alone so I can think and live in a world where there is no one but me.  It's a phase, so don't patronize me or anything.  I'm the happiest I've been in a while, and that's really something.  I thank God for that every night.

In my arts class we have to do a performing arts piece.  I'm not real picky, I just threw out three requirements as far as I'm concerned: togas, blood and food.  That's all that maters to me really.

Oh, and I'm in pottery and I cannot throw pots to save my life and I am doing a dismal job.  But I can use a kick wheel, so that's awesome.  My teacher has dubbed me her 'Special Student.'

Yeah.

So, following on that anti social path, I also have no time.  I still read a lot, but right now I can't read.  Actually, that's a lie, because I'm on Pottermore all the time, making virtual potions.  Is that sad?  Yes.  It's so sad.  But I love it, and that's all that matters.

I wish Hogwarts was real.  Then I'd have my fellow Slytherins and we would do stuff like jump on the leather couches in the common room, and I'd learn how to become invisible and stuff.  That would be cool.

I know everyone who reads this is going to think, "Oh Rachel, her life is so sad, and she's so lonely," but seriously guys, I think I'm just basking in me time.  I'm a natural hermit with an overactive imagination, and I'm really enjoying my life right now.  I like just hanging out with me and the four cups I cannot throw on a wheel.  My cylinders - they're so sad.

So, what's happening on the boy front?  Well, I like at least a dozen.  There are two guys in pottery who try and help me all the time, but they're both engaged, and it angers me.  Just on principal.  I've reached the point where I think I want to be an eternal maiden.  I would start a club for eternal maidens and we would become archers and travel the world and climb trees and stuff.  It'd be awesome.

I have 4 cats now.  I know, you all think my life's pathways are really depressing, but I seriously love it.  Although they can be annoying at times.  Such as when they attack my feet while I'm sleeping.

So blogger.  I say adieu for now.

-Me

I took my pants off.

So, although I got little to no sleep last night, I am in better spirits this morning. Well, now I am. I was in bed around 1 last night; I stayed at Kelly's super late. We played Bananagrams, which I'm not all that fond of because I cannot spell very well; then we played Quelf which is rather fun. I had to be a mummy. Nothing super memorable happened. Then we went up to the studio and played signs, but they just had me as "it" because I'm bad at it as well. We played Ninja Destruction and Samurai. THEN we played "Truth or Dare."

Now, once I have absolutely no secrets and I'm not all that gutsy, this game is easy peasy to me. Truth, and I answer. But, there were about 3 dares. And boy me, they were good. Chase dared TJ to drink pickle juice out of someone's belly button. And he did it. I dared Chris to drink milk and ketchup. And he did it [after much whining, mind you. He thought I'd go easy on him.] Kelly dared Alex to eat a dead lady bug [complete with chewing]. And she did it!

Ya'll, it was hilarious. I am not very courageous on these sort of things, but I love watching others having to do it. After, we hit people with a large exercise peanut and I wrestled Chris to the ground, because I am very strong and he is weak. Before long I became cranky and grumpy, so I went home [and TJ drove behind me to guarantee my safety.]

Great night. Today was a bit hectic, but after two cancelled classes, I still have to stay over for a 3 o'clock meeting because I'm a costume crew chief thing for The A-Train Plays.

So this weekend is scattered because tonight I'm spending the night with Kelly, and tomorrow we're going to the Mall to see Beastly. I know this part should be cut out of my schedule once I have work. But how often do I see Kelly? And I rarely hang out with anyone, especially my bestie who is a good few hours away. This weekend though, I have a monologue to memorize and a french test to study for. I'm auditing a class, because the teacher asked me to be in the show for it. [yeah, I know.], so I have a character analysis for that and lines to memorize.

It's not a big deal, but to do something makes me smile and feel rather blessed. I'm the part of a conjoined twin. Yes, I know, I get the physically disabled part. Except this time I have four legs instead of one. What up. Also, Sideshow perks. "I will never leave youuuu..."

Next week looks less hectic, so I'm ready to breath a little. I'm going to get all my research done for one of my research papers, and then relax some.

Also there is a rumor that if a professor doesn't have a PhD that they are not guaranteed employment. So basically, Dr. Beam is safe if no one else is. Wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles. I am so happy that my BFF is totes safe.

Lets talk about things I like [other than Dr. Beam] now:

There is this new thing called Harry Potter: The Quest. It's basically like the coke points thing for Harry Potter fans. You do internet things, and you get points...? Look, I'm a member, and we're going to have fun. You earn collectibles and stuff. And you know, need.

The movie is coming out April 15th. I didn't really like this movie so much, but whatever, collection purposes. I'm hoping that one day, when I marry someone with a BlueRay player, that he will buy me the massive 4 disk box sets. Like, I need them too. I'm going to have the best future husband ever. Tag this under #thingsIknow.

In May, I'm going to be visiting a certain place where certain wizards flock.

YES HARRY POTTER WORLD! Tonight we are planning everything. It'll be a poor college students trip, with not many school supplies being purchased, [Fortunately, everything can be purchased off the internets.] but moreso a day worth of experience. Kelly and I am going together in May after we get out of school, and before work. Also a trip to Disney and Universal is planned too. We're making the plans tonight and cooking Harry Potter food.

Ya'll, I am so excited. This is my mecca. It is honestly our plan to go there and work after we get out of school. Theatre degree, hello! It's PERFECT. I would be content if I was selling shaved ice in this place. Rumor has it they are thinking of building Gringotts and Diagon Alley, and OH please let it happen.

So...I have to share this on my blog, because I like to share. There are these new dolls, in a franchise entitled Monster High. Now, you know my fondness for monsters, but these dolls are adorable. And ya'll, I want them. Bad. What would I do with them? Probably write blogs about our adventures and have playdates with Alex [who has already agreed with me on these matters.] Yes, I would totally play with them. BUT the important thing is, the new one has been reviled and I am in awe of how awesome she is:

LOOK AT HER LITTLE SEE THROUGH LIMBS? Is that not precious?

I know, I don't need them, and it's silly to want dolls, BUT if Scotty can collect Vinylmations, then I can collect monster dolls. No judging. Even if they have the worst names ever. "Draculara" and "Frankie Stien" to name a few. Also, they have webisodes and I have totally watched every single one.

Oh, stop judging me.

So, a bunch of my friends have started reading The Hunger Games.  And they are, of course, seeing how phenomenal it is.  My main squeeze is in the running for the role of Peeta, BUT everyone is saying he's a super bad actor.  I'll judge myself when we go see Beastly, and I hope this isn't true.  Because, above all else, I want someone who can act.  I know I swoon over this guy, but if he can't act... then, meh, I don't want him.  I believe I have picked my Katniss though:

I have yet to see True Grit, and once it's a Western and there are no Aliens/Wizards/Vampires/etc., my interest is limited, BUT she was nominated for an Oscar so I suppose she isn't to shabby.  Her eyebrows bother me, but, by the time she reaches 16 I think she'll be fabulous.  She's not gorgeous, no, but she's just looks like Katniss to me.  And girl can apparently act.

As for Beastly, which I'm seeing tomorrow, I am kind of scared now.  The reviews are giving it a very dismal rating.  I mean, I wasn't expecting that it would be awesome.  It's obviously one of those movies you watch for the sugary and swoony goodness.  Sort of like Twilight.  You don't go to see Oscar bait; you go to see entertaining junk.  But, I hope it's good.  Even if it has Vanessa in it. *snear of discontent*

Of course, Little Red Riding Hood looks so bad [and sugary!] that I must see it as well.  Even if Gary Oldman is in it, it just has to be bad.  Please be so bad you're good.  Not like The Room or Human Centipede bad, but, Twilight and Beastly bad.

As long as The Hunger Games is AWESOME I will die so happy.

I'm going to go get food now.

-Me

A Course in [Bad] Make-Up

I first started wearing make-up when I was in the 6th grade. My mother has fortunately always been quite willing to compromise when it comes to make-up. The only thing I wore in the 6th grade was foundation and an eyeshadow from Clinique named 'Sugarplum.' It was purple. Yes, at 10 I was wearing purple. I know; it explains everything.


I have always loved make-up, and I probably, okay I do, wear more make-up than most human beings, to the point of often looking like a tiny gypsy. I've went through so many weird phases [Oh, hey there 80s hooker make up!]and today, I have settled on some sort of silver/black combo thing. It brings out my eyes. *bats eyelashes*




So, today I began looking at my 'make-up' morgue from my theatre make-up class. And I thought "this would be a FANTASTIC thing to share on my blog." Now, I know, you don't care. BUT, I like sharing! And especially when it includes poor workmanship and morose expressions! Soooo, TO THE BLOG!

TWO FACE

This is the Glamor/Normal face.  So I look really made up on one side and not so much on the other.  See, with 'Glamor' you want to fix all those ugly attributes on your face so you look pretty.  Yeah, I know, it didn't work.

And ya'll are right; my hair does look like a helmet.  Huh.

This is also my "I'm gonna kill you Susan for making me take dumb photos and posting them all over WebCat so everyone can see."  It's a subtle look.

This is TWO FACE in that I amplified stuff on one side and lessened it on the other.  See how my nose is really wide on one side, and really big on the other?  Or my lips are two different shapes?  I look totes disproportional.  And I'm not squinting; my make up is making me look like that.

Actually, I think this is a highlight/contour face.  See one side is light, because I used highlighter to make everything BIGGER and then on the other side I used contour to make everything smaller.

I'm such a genius.

MIDDLE AGE:

So old and depressed that I look like my mother.  Turns out I'm much better at middle age and old age NOW but, at the time I was ubber proud of this.  I always felt like middle/old age make up is the easiest for me.  As for wounds and fantasy...ah we'll see.

And please note that nose is crooked.  I would say that it is the make up, but if you look at every picture, you'll note that, no, it's just crooked.

*sigh* Only me.

OLD AGE:

Okay, so I was just bragging on my old age abilities, and this...isn't so good?  Look I was learning!  But it isn't bad!  Right?  Right?

My hair looks very, very, very bad.  But it was up or something?  Look, I'm old in this picture!  Turns out Old Age day is the most depressing of them all.  Sighs all around.

The future is scary and my nose is still crooked.

On another note, I'm better at it now:

Ah sort of.  Cheap lipstick and liver spots [of sexiness.]  Also I'm a good 10 pounds lighter here, and I'm attempting to seduce you mesmerizing grandma face.  Also, I think I like my nasolaibial folds [see: smile lines] better in the previous picture.  Then again, that's all I bothered with when I did old age make-up that time. 

Either way, I'm foxy.

FANTASY

Okay, before you see, this, this, thing, let me explain.  Susan told us to bring stuff in.  So I brought stuff in.  She had no idea what I should do so she said, "make a skeleton tree god thing."  Andd...I did.  Sort of.

I'd don't think I'd be bad at fantasy make up on a whole; but we only had about 3 different colours, and no glitter, so I was limited in my creative endeavorers ya'll.  Or I would have been a Unicorn...wait...

I was a UNICORN for Halloween.  Yes, I made my costume.  Yes, I was the only one who dressed up.  And yes, Scotty is in the back, regretting the fact that he knows me.  [Or jealous of my skills, either/or.  Yeah, it's probably that.  He wants a tail and a mane too.  I'll make him one for Easter.  Why easter?  Why NOT.]

WOUNDS

So, if you thought fantasy was bad, get a load of this.

I actually like myself in this picture, but I was very rough on making wounds.  Part of me was hesitant to experiment.  And part of it didn't make sense.  It was complicated.  You put lots of colours on top of each other and they make stuff...?  I don't gets it.  I was proud of that slash on my cheek though.

I tried getting brave.  I failed.  Yes past Rachel; I roll my eyes at this as well.

CREPE HAIR

Before I show these pictures, I have some explaining.  I will usually try anything.  I don't give up easy and I rarely say "no" or "I can't do this" when asked to try something.  I can always try, right?  Well, there was one thing I refused to try, and that was the application of crepe hair.  I HATE fake hair.  It literally makes me gag.  I tell you no lies.  When we were little Abigail would rub excess Barbie hair on my legs and arms, and *cringe* it creeps me out like EVERYTHING.  I can't, I just, I just, can't.

SO.  After having a small meltdown, Susan compromised.  I could put it on my hand, vs. my face.  I wanted to kiss her.  But I didn't, because she was wearing a fake moustache.*

I could hardly stomach it.  I couldn't look at it; I couldn't touch it.  Sure it looks rough, but I didn't care because it is disgusting and gross and I just want it off of me.  I'm getting goosebumps typing about this monstrosity.

Onward, please?

*she wasn't wearing a moustache.  But it improved the story, no?

18TH CENTURY

These aren't spectacular, because there isn't much to this sort of make up, BUT I am very sexy in my white wig of sexiness.  And no, there is NO sarcasm, because I'm for real.

Mmm, if I lived in the 18th Century, my milkshake WOULD bring all the boys to the yard.

And just for giggles, here's a picture of the class.  Beasts going to a ball to do fancy stuff like dance and have birds in our hair.  [P.S. HA what goobs.  See, I am the best.]

EGYPTIAN

This MIGHT have been my favourite because there was nothing to it.  I've been doing eyeliner for ages, so it was a simple as breathing, and therefore, unimpressive.

AND LASTLY.

FINAL PROJECT.

AKA. The worst piece of make up known to man.  See, I think in shapes.  Shapes are logical things and I see them easily.  When I draw, and I draw in shapes and then edit everything accordingly.  So, we had to take any sort of artwork and make it into a make-up piece of artwork.  So, instead of thinking some painting that is just a giant mess of swirls around my face [and therefore a fail] I choose this because it had identifiable shapes.

The woman, not the fox.  See how angular her face is?

Unfortunately, we only had one shade of blue.  SO, I had to mix my colours to get the correct shades of blue.    Mixing, and such for many hours makes any person grumpy and in the end, as the HOT lights shined down (which successfully made me sweat through every layer) I was making no progress.  So, I thus gave up and said, "just take my stupid picture, Susan."  I was getting to that whiny phase where I start crying and throwing things and WHY CAN'T I GET IT?

So, without further ado, my really, really, really bad final in Make-Up class.

DO YOU SEE THE LOOK OF DEJECTION?  At the time, I was very near the verge of tears, and Susan could even tell I needed to just call it a day.  See the way I sort of bite my lip to hold back said tears?

Today, this picture makes me laugh; a lot, because I can feel rays of failure emanating from it.  The look on my face just says everything about that project.

SO BAD.

So, friends and family, readers and pursuers, I hope you enjoyed my failures and successes in regards to make-up, and next time I open up the crypt door to my make-up morgue, hopefully I'll have something more attractive to offer.  Namely, an moustache.

Like a fake one, not a real one, because I don't have one.  Jerk.

-Me.