A Course in [Bad] Make-Up

I first started wearing make-up when I was in the 6th grade. My mother has fortunately always been quite willing to compromise when it comes to make-up. The only thing I wore in the 6th grade was foundation and an eyeshadow from Clinique named 'Sugarplum.' It was purple. Yes, at 10 I was wearing purple. I know; it explains everything.


I have always loved make-up, and I probably, okay I do, wear more make-up than most human beings, to the point of often looking like a tiny gypsy. I've went through so many weird phases [Oh, hey there 80s hooker make up!]and today, I have settled on some sort of silver/black combo thing. It brings out my eyes. *bats eyelashes*




So, today I began looking at my 'make-up' morgue from my theatre make-up class. And I thought "this would be a FANTASTIC thing to share on my blog." Now, I know, you don't care. BUT, I like sharing! And especially when it includes poor workmanship and morose expressions! Soooo, TO THE BLOG!

TWO FACE

This is the Glamor/Normal face.  So I look really made up on one side and not so much on the other.  See, with 'Glamor' you want to fix all those ugly attributes on your face so you look pretty.  Yeah, I know, it didn't work.

And ya'll are right; my hair does look like a helmet.  Huh.

This is also my "I'm gonna kill you Susan for making me take dumb photos and posting them all over WebCat so everyone can see."  It's a subtle look.

This is TWO FACE in that I amplified stuff on one side and lessened it on the other.  See how my nose is really wide on one side, and really big on the other?  Or my lips are two different shapes?  I look totes disproportional.  And I'm not squinting; my make up is making me look like that.

Actually, I think this is a highlight/contour face.  See one side is light, because I used highlighter to make everything BIGGER and then on the other side I used contour to make everything smaller.

I'm such a genius.

MIDDLE AGE:

So old and depressed that I look like my mother.  Turns out I'm much better at middle age and old age NOW but, at the time I was ubber proud of this.  I always felt like middle/old age make up is the easiest for me.  As for wounds and fantasy...ah we'll see.

And please note that nose is crooked.  I would say that it is the make up, but if you look at every picture, you'll note that, no, it's just crooked.

*sigh* Only me.

OLD AGE:

Okay, so I was just bragging on my old age abilities, and this...isn't so good?  Look I was learning!  But it isn't bad!  Right?  Right?

My hair looks very, very, very bad.  But it was up or something?  Look, I'm old in this picture!  Turns out Old Age day is the most depressing of them all.  Sighs all around.

The future is scary and my nose is still crooked.

On another note, I'm better at it now:

Ah sort of.  Cheap lipstick and liver spots [of sexiness.]  Also I'm a good 10 pounds lighter here, and I'm attempting to seduce you mesmerizing grandma face.  Also, I think I like my nasolaibial folds [see: smile lines] better in the previous picture.  Then again, that's all I bothered with when I did old age make-up that time. 

Either way, I'm foxy.

FANTASY

Okay, before you see, this, this, thing, let me explain.  Susan told us to bring stuff in.  So I brought stuff in.  She had no idea what I should do so she said, "make a skeleton tree god thing."  Andd...I did.  Sort of.

I'd don't think I'd be bad at fantasy make up on a whole; but we only had about 3 different colours, and no glitter, so I was limited in my creative endeavorers ya'll.  Or I would have been a Unicorn...wait...

I was a UNICORN for Halloween.  Yes, I made my costume.  Yes, I was the only one who dressed up.  And yes, Scotty is in the back, regretting the fact that he knows me.  [Or jealous of my skills, either/or.  Yeah, it's probably that.  He wants a tail and a mane too.  I'll make him one for Easter.  Why easter?  Why NOT.]

WOUNDS

So, if you thought fantasy was bad, get a load of this.

I actually like myself in this picture, but I was very rough on making wounds.  Part of me was hesitant to experiment.  And part of it didn't make sense.  It was complicated.  You put lots of colours on top of each other and they make stuff...?  I don't gets it.  I was proud of that slash on my cheek though.

I tried getting brave.  I failed.  Yes past Rachel; I roll my eyes at this as well.

CREPE HAIR

Before I show these pictures, I have some explaining.  I will usually try anything.  I don't give up easy and I rarely say "no" or "I can't do this" when asked to try something.  I can always try, right?  Well, there was one thing I refused to try, and that was the application of crepe hair.  I HATE fake hair.  It literally makes me gag.  I tell you no lies.  When we were little Abigail would rub excess Barbie hair on my legs and arms, and *cringe* it creeps me out like EVERYTHING.  I can't, I just, I just, can't.

SO.  After having a small meltdown, Susan compromised.  I could put it on my hand, vs. my face.  I wanted to kiss her.  But I didn't, because she was wearing a fake moustache.*

I could hardly stomach it.  I couldn't look at it; I couldn't touch it.  Sure it looks rough, but I didn't care because it is disgusting and gross and I just want it off of me.  I'm getting goosebumps typing about this monstrosity.

Onward, please?

*she wasn't wearing a moustache.  But it improved the story, no?

18TH CENTURY

These aren't spectacular, because there isn't much to this sort of make up, BUT I am very sexy in my white wig of sexiness.  And no, there is NO sarcasm, because I'm for real.

Mmm, if I lived in the 18th Century, my milkshake WOULD bring all the boys to the yard.

And just for giggles, here's a picture of the class.  Beasts going to a ball to do fancy stuff like dance and have birds in our hair.  [P.S. HA what goobs.  See, I am the best.]

EGYPTIAN

This MIGHT have been my favourite because there was nothing to it.  I've been doing eyeliner for ages, so it was a simple as breathing, and therefore, unimpressive.

AND LASTLY.

FINAL PROJECT.

AKA. The worst piece of make up known to man.  See, I think in shapes.  Shapes are logical things and I see them easily.  When I draw, and I draw in shapes and then edit everything accordingly.  So, we had to take any sort of artwork and make it into a make-up piece of artwork.  So, instead of thinking some painting that is just a giant mess of swirls around my face [and therefore a fail] I choose this because it had identifiable shapes.

The woman, not the fox.  See how angular her face is?

Unfortunately, we only had one shade of blue.  SO, I had to mix my colours to get the correct shades of blue.    Mixing, and such for many hours makes any person grumpy and in the end, as the HOT lights shined down (which successfully made me sweat through every layer) I was making no progress.  So, I thus gave up and said, "just take my stupid picture, Susan."  I was getting to that whiny phase where I start crying and throwing things and WHY CAN'T I GET IT?

So, without further ado, my really, really, really bad final in Make-Up class.

DO YOU SEE THE LOOK OF DEJECTION?  At the time, I was very near the verge of tears, and Susan could even tell I needed to just call it a day.  See the way I sort of bite my lip to hold back said tears?

Today, this picture makes me laugh; a lot, because I can feel rays of failure emanating from it.  The look on my face just says everything about that project.

SO BAD.

So, friends and family, readers and pursuers, I hope you enjoyed my failures and successes in regards to make-up, and next time I open up the crypt door to my make-up morgue, hopefully I'll have something more attractive to offer.  Namely, an moustache.

Like a fake one, not a real one, because I don't have one.  Jerk.

-Me.

List of 'To-Do Accomplishments'

I'm making some New Years resolutions, RIGHT NOW, and although I don't really believe in New Years resolutions because, first of all, I'm bad at promising to do things and, second of all, I don't like the concept of 'New Years,' because it is sad and depressing to think that 2010 will never be again.  I enjoy very much spending New Year's Eve by sleeping through it, because I think, "Ha, I am doing what I shouldn't do." It's like the only small piece of rebellion I ever do.
I don't like to make resolutions though because I think, "why not just start now?  Why wait until 'New Years?"

If I haven't started NOW then I probably don't want to start in the first place.  But, I suppose I'll make list of things I want to accomplish in this year, so, here goes it.

1. Learn how to bake something.  Probably fudge, because I really like fudge.
2. Do not gain weight from said fudge.
3. Learn at least one song on the piano so I kind of dont forget to play it.
4. Look into traveling abroad to England either next semester or next year, so I can learn theatre and go to Hogwarts some elegant acting school, but I do not want to be like Magic Ben, so get that notion out of your head.
5. I've never talked about Magic Ben, have I?  A little creepy, he does magic tricks, salsa dancing, hypnotising, pick-pockteing, and he went to England.  He also flirts a lot and in jazz class he would pick me up and swing me and it was slightly creepy and I would ask with my eyes for Chris to save me and he'd usually just push me into him.
6. Here is Magic Ben on Brittan's Got Talent.  He's the one with the cucumber in his mouth.
7. Become a better actress, discover the secret of acting, grow some confidence, and essentially be awesome.  And get up the nerve to have Chris help me, because I know I could learn a lot, although it's scary to think doing your monologues in front of him.  He's graduated now though, so he'll enjoy the challenge.
8. Participate in more French tables so I can become gifted at speaking it and thus woo my French-Canadian not yet lover.
9. Um, VISIT HARRY POTTER WORLD and secretly live there forever.
10. Serve up some Jesus and fries to more people, but God guide me and do not let me be that creepy girl people dread seeing who are like Jesus, and they make everyone cringe.
11. Stop whining.
12. Buy more outfits for my cats.
13. Get my bedroom suite, and bask in an organized room and get rid of that other bed, and possibly the wardrobe and definitely the litter box.
14. Write more meaningless blogs.
15. Read more classics and less teenage vampire books. (Shame.)
16. Buy a new iPod.
17. Become more proficient at dancing.
18. Organize blog and make it the Kingdom of Blog.
19. And lastly, bask in Scotty's glory.  Everyday.

This is the plan.  At the end of the year, I'll review it and see how much I achieved.  If I can remember I even wrote this.

...

I suppose I should put 'Improve Character' on there so I can stop being hateful and more obliging to others and not so negative and dramatic, but I think all people ever see on my blog is my angry/awkward place.  In real life, I'm...well, still kind of awkward, but not so angry.  And definitely dramatic.

Whatever, 

20.  Improve Character.

THERE, THAT IS THE BEST RESOLUTION LIST EVER.

Although they aren't resolutions, they are a list of 'To-Do Accomplishments.'

Watch me dominate every last one ya'll.

-Me

This is: Not a Novel.

Several, Several Mini Things:

First, this makes me think of Scotavi:

Secondly, some links:

New 'Eclipse' Teaser Poster

Sort of boring, sort of not.  I'm neutral about it.

New Moon:  As Told By Lolcats

Abigail'll like it no one else does.

The Snow Queen

Disney's future endeavor.  Although I am beyond excited for 'The Frog Princess,' I am EVEN MORE excited about this one, because it is based off the book by the same author of 'The Little Mermaid.'  Which is very dark (in the end she is turned into sea foam AND the sea witch CUTS her tongue out.  Crazy.) so hopefully this'll be dark...?  Probably not because it's Disney, but still, I'm excited.

And thirdly:  I reviewed the new Harry Potter [and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 teaser] trailer here.  IN ALL CAPS.  BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED.  And it's not very funny or anything, but it has been done.

And now I finnish my pizza, and go watch Hunchback of Notre Dame because I hear it somewhere in the UC...

-Me

PEE.ESS. My Kelly is coming home soon.  Snuggling shall commence.

PEE.ESS.ESS

I'm beating all my friends on School Of Wizardry.  Huzzah.

Robbie is Rap-tastic

You know how Graphic Novels are usually associated with dorks who dress up in leather and go to things like Dragon*Con? Well, I guess Disney is now shooting for that audience because look at their latest addition to the family.

"An All New Graphic Novel." You've went too far HSM. Way too far.
Adding too going to far, look at the new "required" book in the bookstore for a COLLEGE CLASS.

Let me say it again: REQUIRED. What? This is probably the worse example of good literature (writing style), ever, and it's REQUIRED. Not saying it's not a good story, but for College? Bah. But there were other vampire books so I only pray (oh please, oh please) that it's a class on Vampires and not the awesomeness of Twilight.
Now, lets talk about immaturity. This is me. In a shopping cart:

It was very painful and I had a headache afterwards. No one would know it but when clothes are on top of you (and Depends, Hannah Montana calenders, Oprah magazine, diapers, and shoes) it gets rather heavy. But no one realized I was in it the whole time we went around the store... except when I whispered and they looked startled at the basket. Luckily Alex and Brianna kept their cool until AFTER we left.

I sort of regret not jumping out at someone. :(
In other things, Kelly and I went to see Rabun Gap's Cirque. The movements were excellent (this one kid did a push up; sideways; on a pole; a vertical pole) and with all the jumping, standing on rubber balls, hoops, nets and the tiny Asian in a banana suit, I was amazed. But with everything, I am horribly critical, and even though their set was fantastic (or at least the city part; the forest was horrid) and their energy superb, their costumes had that terrible pulled-yet-inconsistent-style to it. Not enough jazz to them.

Whereas there movement was terrific, their acting sort of lacked (sort of, not terrible) at least the two leads were good. Some tall boy in a striped hat and Dylan Duvall played the magician or something. He was definitely the best (which is ironic because the best one learned under the leadership of Oh Mighty Tyrant) and was the only one w/o face make-up. Adding to that, none of those kids knew squat about doing face-makeup. It looked like a three year old had painted on for Halloween.

Afterwards, Kelly and I went back to the senior parking lot and played with her sisters camera: we screamed for it, we laughed for it, we goofed off for it, we got under her running car for it. It was magic. Everett showed up and we attempted to do pictures with me as the third wheel looking mortified at them, but they never turned out well.

We also went to Fatz before and got Everett as our waiter, who brought us Air Heads (blue raspberry) and paid for our meal. But it was all good because we left him a $20 tip.

Saturday was game night and Everett, Kelly and I dominated at Cranium. I lovingly got nominated to do all the acting bits which was great because they guessed them right off. Afterwards we went upstairs and watched The Soup. Or at least Kelly and I did because their was a mass clearing of everyone in the middle of it.
So, yesterday I had my advisor meeting about arranging classes for next semester and I get tons of theatre ones. I have one dance class that runs from 10:10-1:15 and then another movement class that is 2 hours long. So basically, I'm going to be a muscle with and perhaps a little bit more rhythm. Not much; but a little. Along with that I have the possibility of taking a make-up class and a lecture class with Terrence Mann that includes lots of movies. Only thing wrong with this is that my first class would be at 8 in the morning and my Terrence Mann class would end at 7, so essentially, if I go with this plan (hint: I don't think so) I get no sleep. Along with that Susan really wants me to become a design major vs. acting because I apparently have talent in the field. But just wait until she sees my debonair acting. Yeah. I wiggle my eyebrows at that.

Speaking of me and my rhythm and my debonair acting:
Seussical is essentially wearing me out. I scraped my knee yesterday, thus dubbing this play the next Footloose. But, regardless of all the sweat, all the soreness, all the orange juice, all the tiredness and droppyness, I would have it no other way. Everytime I feel my sore thigh I think about how much fun I'm having and I smile and hit it again for more reminecence.
I wish I could say I feel like I'm doing well, but this whole synchrony thing is killing me. Perhaps after an intense dance workout which would include various other things (such as popsickles and nailpolish) I may be able to do those C things with my legs. But, all the same, I can't help feeling like I'm way TOO big compaired to my fellows. For example:

(i.e. I'm the one in the striped shirt) Actually, I don't know what I was doing in this picture. Perhaps I look just slightly better now? Besides my inability to dance, I sing all the songs extreamly low which isn't a bad thing, but I just hope it's on key. Adding to all this, did you know it is next to impossible to get my shoulders to move? I try to shimmy and I end up looking like I'm having a shaking fit all over. I hardly know.
Oh, and I did not obtain a poster, so until I get one, Sevy's windows shall be blank. :( Adding to that, I have window markers in blue and white and guess what is being created on the back of Sev on March 1st? Just guess because, ooooh, it's going to be delicious. I wiggle my eyebrows at this as well.
Everything is just too much fun. :)

And now, I leave you with a gift from the gods. Robbie has created a little rap for us regarding a song from Seuss, and I daresay I was just fortuate enough to have the means to record it at the time. Enjoy because I surely do:



-Me

Oh yeah, I was supposed to be reading my Psychology...

Ahhh, my first Acting class

woeirlewj, it was oddly, and most unexpectedly, amazing.  Guess that's what happens when you trust God to make it okay for you.  I was expecting to be surrounded by kids who floored me.  First off, only 10 in the class.  Secondly, the rough majority are technical.  Thirdly, I have more experience than any of them, and I am the only one who is part of a big important theatre troupe:  A little something called Overlook Theatre Company.  Besides, our stage kicks FPAC's any day.

To that, I mean the new one.  SMACPAC, not FAC.  

So, needless to say, I am super excited.  And Respect for Acting is optional reading (thankfully.) Even though I had Taylor's reassurance that it was a very helpful book:

Rachel snorts at her book "respect for acting."5:05pm - 3 Comments

 Taylor Bryson at 5:59pm January 8

that is a really good book

 Rachel Alford at 4:32pm January 9

Really? It's assigned, and I thought it would be a piece of "Acting. Is an Art." kind of crap, but you just gave me some hope.

 Taylor Bryson at 6:08pm January 9

no its a very useful book. alot of acting books are dont look at them as something that will be broing or typical..it really helped me get a grasp on my acting

But now that it is no longer mandatory, I still may pass.  Besides, I already have a method down.  It's called:  Get on stage and have a blast.  And sweat.  Lots of sweat.

Anyhoo, in classypoo we got in a circle and talked about ourselves, and I have to keep an Acting Journal and document the... discoveries in my acting each day.  I believe I am really going to like my teacher (of course, after what I am used to Voldemort would seem like a nice teacher) and he seems to know what he is doing.  Although I have my method doesn't mean I won't listen and try someone else's.  I'm glad I have it with a few people I know and we did all sorts of bonding activities today.  Our teacher said the best way to work is as a unit, and aye aye, I agree.  I mean, look at us.  We all do the plays and we also all go eat pizza and watch movies and don't play tricks on anyone and have bloggers and EVERYTHING.  Bonding.

Speaking of us, I went and visited the play site today.  Lots of fun fabric, fun with Scotty and Everett, fun anonymously sending Sam messages of this picture of Everett...

...fun sitting there doing nothing while everyone did something, fat jokes steered in my direction, seeing Paul F, eating clementines and everything else in sight, and I got to see what my jacket will look like:

And I want the blue beehive wig.  FYI.

Oh and I sent Troy a picture of his fabric because he pestered me all yesterday asking me if I had seen Scotty and his reply was simply:

Lol sweet

Nothing says "Thank you" like that.  I guess it's because he can't see the keys enough to txt out a decent response.

...I say that with love.

And get this... guess who wants to play the female werewolf in New Moon, which is the sequel to Twilight.

But I do like her jacket.  A lot.  Anyhoodle, I despise her in the HSM franchise (her, her character, her singing, everything) and for her to taint the presence of my favourite whack vampire obsession love series? 

NO.

-me

Pee.Ess.  REHEARSALS IN LIKE TWO HOURS AHH.

Strawberry Smoothie Pleassee *wink*

Happy Christmas.  :)  It is tomarrow, yes, but whatever I am going to go ahead and say it.  Have a good one.  Unless you're Scotty.

...Imajerk.

Speaking of Uncle Scotty, WHITE HOT CHOCOLATE = Delicious.  Slurp.  I knew it was made with love.  Except mine, which was made with arsenic.  It was a very fun little shindig, with lots of salad (Zesty I-talian of magic) and pizza with, canadian bacon?  And Jazzy I am still sorry for stepping on your paw.  My mom nearly killed me for that.

Kelly and I met before and went to Kmart.  Kelly got a plastic elephant for Christmas.  It was amazing.  We also (almost) bought Scotty and Nikki this really ugly thing with a picture of the city in the background and it had water that jumped to music and it lit up green, blue and red.  And it was framed with fake wood.  It was very tacky... guess it reminded us of them.  Mahhh.

Hm, someone is being grinchly today.  Bah humbug.

Adding to that I hate "A Christmas Carol."  Abigail used to force me to watch it when we were little.  All them stupid RATS POPPING OUT WINDOWS.  And no name calling Abigail.  I daresay I am not near as promiscuse as you.  Mahhh.

And with that I went to the Gazibo and ordered a Strawberry Banana Smoothie in a seductive voice.  I think the waiter was... concerned.

On another note, we fed cats today.  They were having a drive at Dollar Tree to buy cat food and donate it to the cat man.  I have no idea, but it was felinetastic.

Break.  Is.  So.  Good.

So, I still have like two weeks left of vacation.  I am on book four of Harry Potter... I would say, hey I am going to get through by the end, but I'm a little uncertain because book four and onward are tombs.  800 pages of magic.  Will I?  Won't I?  I know not.

I also got the whole set of Anne of Green Gables for Christmas from Aberdoodle.  I can't wait to read them.  And Pride and Prejudice... and Invisible Monsters... Sooo many books.

"I didn't know you could read."
I know Draco.  What is up my crawl?

In other news:
Sweetlanta, no.

Mugglespace

Okay.  This is a little something I call grasping for straws.  As much as it cuts my soul, Harry is over.  If Wanner Brothers created something like this, I would think hey this is amazing, but seriously... just stop.  Leave it to the officials.  It's just a grouping of nerds who think they love Harry Potter, but seriously, they have no idea what love is.  Fools.

-HappyChristmasMe

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

...finally.  I thought this semester would NEVER be over.  I have three more exams, and then, vamoose, I is out of here.  Then a whole month of pure bliss with a magical break where I re-read Harry Potter.  Looking forward?  Yess.

My exams have been stupid.  English all I had to do was turn in a portfolio (no complaints there.)  My teacher wants me to publish something in the school's little book as well.  Because, I write good or something...whhhut?

My theatre exam consists of a portfolio as well and a big butt project.  A lot of my fellow class mates are getting together and doing a skit that is a mock off of the Iron Chef except it's called Aluminum Chef and it has Frodo Baggins and lightsabers... look, I don't know, but I'm not doing it.  Instead I am doing something on scenography and how possible sets could possibly work once I seem to diss everything I see because it's not "vibrant" enough.

My cousins wedding:  went well.  Two guys asked me to dance at the reception proving that I'm not completely haggard in appearance.  I'll just try to ignore the fact that they were in the 7th and 8th grade.  Anywho, my red dress of magic was lovely, and I thought I looked nice.  Even though the very large wedding planner disagreed saying I had a "little belly."  Nothing says rude like hypocrisy.

I am pretty sure this is the point of bridesmaids, but they run around like slaves for the bride.   And it's kind of disgusting because it's just because she's the bride.  I didn't go upstairs to help her once;  I just sat on the couch with an orange soda watching Harry Potter while ALL the girls were helping her get in her dress.  I mean, it is a huge dress, but seriously, five girls?  Whatever... I wouldn't want to help put the garter on.  Blagh.

So, with all the wedding bliss going on, I've already chosen my colours for mine.  PEACOCK COLORS.  Teal, turquoise, and booger green for good measure.  What, you think I'm joking?  Is this a joke to you?  Laugh not, because I'm completely serious.

I wish you could marry yourself.  Because I love me just that much.

Parade:
So, the parade was incredibly amazing.  A cold and frigid yet bonding experience.  WEREEWOOOLFF.  Anyways, I happened to run upon some pictures my mom had taken from the parade:

And it was upon zooming them I found something amazing:

...I feel the glare through the screen.

Camilla is some scary stuff.  

BEEDLE THE BARD:

Honestly, did you expect not to say SOMETHING about it's wonderful magic goodness?  It's quite remarkable how many people I know who didn't get it.  In fact, it's rather remarkable that it wasn't publicized like it should have been.

So after school on thursday, I went to the Wal*Mart in Sylva because it's super or something.  I walk around looking, expect it to be with the rest of the series, when, something disgusting strikes.  LOOK AT THEIR HARRY POTTER SECTION:

You see those four books.  Yeah, that's all they have.  I'm disgusted.

Well, I was pretty sure my journey was to stop right there.  I mean, stores have their priorities and even though they have like sixty Aragon books, and they only have four HPs there is no possible way for them to have Beedle.  So, I was about to walk away when I looked to my right and saw a girl pick up something that looked like the book.  I ran over there when she had gone and...

...the music of angels played.  I honestly stood in the isle for like, ten minutes just petting it.  I kid you not.  And it's next to Breaking Dawn (fourth and final book in the TWILIGHT SAGA), so it's win on all sides.  Even though Breaking Dawn makes me want to say, "what...?"

So I read my dearest Beedle in approximately two hours, and it.  was.  amazing. I heard a rumor that WB is planning on making a movie of it after DH comes out and what I say to that is, "oh please Santa, I have been so good."  Also the book has commentary from Dumbledore because he left some analysis before he hit the dead end, and he talks about how Hogwarts once put on a play and there was some sort of wizard school for the arts... and I thought I WOULD GO THERE... forget Hogwarts, lets go act.  IN A WIZARD SCHOOL WITH SPECIAL MAGIC EFFECTS. It's so groovy it almost burns.

-Me

The Beast In My Chest Growls in Approval.

So, the new Harry Potter trailer came out.  After watching it six times completely breathless w/o sound, then without a heart beat the six other times with sound, then after looking at frame by frame, I can honestly say that the last time I was this excited was when Deathly Hallows came out.  And trust me, I was excited:

Sort of.  Anyway, I decided to pick out my all time favourtie scenes from the trailer and do a sort of recap for my own benefit.  That way, twenty years from now, I can send my kids to this site and they can see what a molten freak I was.  Hello Emerson, Madeline, Eliza and Jack!

First off:

DRACO finally looks appealing.  I remember when I was like, in the, 7th grade it was either Harry or Draco everyone had a crush on (mine was Ron) but after a while Draco seemed to disappear.  Well, of course, he plays A HUGE part in this film, even though you aren't aware of it until the end. (even though Harry stalks him the whole book... don't ask.)  I have a feeling that Slytherin will be making a reappearance as everyone's favorite house.  It is mine

And I'm pretty sure this is the scene where he cries like a girl.  What a stunning pansy.

So the trailer starts out with awesome music and an awesome logo and it was at this point I start squealing.

Harry is asked to touch Dumbledore.  He thinks it's for apparition, but after the whole Dumblegay scandal how can he be sure?  Look wary Harry, there is a reason your gut says to run.  Listen to it Harry, LISTEN.

But he doesn't and next thing he knows he become Gumbi Potter.  But personally, these pictures remind me more of the Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Freaky.  Anywho we are then introduced to Professor Slughorn who looks more like Fudge and he has a graduation cap.  Wait?  What?

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.  So he's talking about the love potion (And hopefully they did not cut out that whole scene in the book where Hermione is like "I smell freshly cut grass, parchment and..." *megablush*)  Speaking of Hermione, she actually looks like, well, like Hermione for once in her life.

She's finally cannon.  Even though it's ridiculous how they push her as the heroine.  Here's a little bit:  RON AND HERMIONE ARE EQUAL.  IF ANYTHING HE'S MORE IMPORTANT.  QUITE BEING MORONIC WITH YOUR MERCHANDISING.  It angers me that you can buy Harry chocolate, Hermione chocolate, and then Knight Bus chocolate?!  Are you kidding me?!

And ha ha, Lavender Brown FINALLY shows up (the girl with the pink head thing) and I can't wait for the magic that happens between her and Ron thus resulting in this:

And then the DEATH CANARIES.  That was the highlight of the book.  Right there.  "Ron seems to be enjoying himself. *sob*"  Yeah, not for long.

And Seamus blows up stuff.  Because they've been keeping this joke running since the first movie.

And I am sooo happy they kept this scene in the movie.  When I read this, I literally had to put the book down and have a moment.   What happens is that all these girls are after Harry 'cause he's 'The Chosen One' and that's kind of hot.  So this one girl who is based off me makes candy for Harry with love potions in them that will make him infatuated with her.  So Ron happens to run into them, and being the pig he is, eats them.  So thus, Ron is infatuated with Romilda Vane and it is FLIPPING HILARIOUS because for like five pages Harry has no idea who he is talking about.  Then when he finds out it takes him forever to  figure out why Ron feels this way.  Silly...

Anyway:  I LOVE HER HARRY!

RON, YOU'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER!

OMG, YOU'RE RIGHT.  YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE US.  I LOVE HER I LOVE HER.

What.  The.  Veil.  (ha that makes TOTAL sense.  Siriusly.)

And once the rest of it is not really all that important to the story, I just picked out my favourites:

Why Ron is and always be my favourite character.  FOREVER.

Bellatrix casts a the Dark Mark into the sky and proves that she is by far the craziest DE ever.  She's crazy.  She's crazy Helena Bonham Carter.

That and the Order has Gary Oldman.  CRAZY GARY OLDMAN.

zOMBIE ARmY!11!  So, I think that is Dumbldore who is all collapsed on the rocks which would make sense, because who else could it be?  But it really doesn't look like him, and I'm not aware why the little island has ice because that makes no sense but whatever, I won't judge.  So, we get our first look at Inferi  who are all like *intense* looking.  Before long they will come up and try to start eating Harry, so whatever, it's awesome.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Guess what Harry.  The beast in your chest (if only I was joking) may be happy but mine is royally upset.  This picture is exactly why I hate Ginny Weasley.  YOU DON'T BELONG TOGETHER.  WE BELONG TOGETHER.  I can't even look at this picture, it disgusts me.

I really have no idea.  No seriously, I never remembered them fighting in wheat fields.  What the veil... I don't know.

Snape's retarded.  AND AWESOME.  Besides R/Hr, his love story is the best one in the whole series.  Why?  BECAUSE IT ENDS IN TRAGEDY, THATS WHY.  And I eat it all up.  That and I was right.  The whole time.  Kudos for me.

DUN CALL ME A COWARD HARRY, YOU HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH FOR YOUR SAKE AND MY LIL...  NOW GET ON YOUR UNGRATEFUL KNEES AND THANK ME.  and my patronus is a doe.  how gay.

P.S. Harry, it would have been nice if you had used the stone on Snape.  Just to say, um, hello, thanks for everything.

Harry is a loser.

And Alan Rickman is getting a little old.  Snape is 38 and Alan Rickman, is like 60.  Um, not cool.  BUT I'LL DIG IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT'S ALAN RICKMAN.  

And the magic ends with Harry's signature 'OMG DANGER, I'M SO UNACCUSTOMED' face, which is almost as signature as Zac Effrons 'I'M CONSTIPATED' face.

I'm not sure.  You be the judge.

-omgharrypotterme