Hayyy everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean the three or less people who read my blog. Right now I am sitting in the UC drinking a Javalance (my recent addiction...and only 1.5 grams of fat) for lunch because Abigail and I are going out with Uncle Scotty and Aunt Nikki before this big Republican thingine at Western. Vote Susan Pons! Or else...
Wait, what kind of threat could I possibly place? I'll cat-rub you out of existence?
Mahh... anyway, COLLEGE. I think I am going to tell you about it the same way Abigail did on her blog (hey, that was the first time I ever actually read one through!). Numbers make everything better...
1. Parking is awful. Unless you get there ubber early and get to park behind the library. Parking at the field house is torture, and it literally takes 30 minutes to get to the center part of the school. CatTrans (or, once all the lazy fat people wait for them to travel to their next class that's approx. 10 meters away, FatTrans) can pick you up, but it's often not worth the hassle of waiting.
2. College isn't as frighting as it seems. Even though Abigail may act cool in her blog, the first day she was freaking out. I was just bored. And for the record Abigail, freaking out about forgetting your schedule and a pair of socks doesn't count for being freaked about about college.
3. Math is easy, I already know it all. Theatre is easy, I've known it all since the 6th grade. Now, I could humble myself and say, "Thank you Scotty. Because of you, I'm smarter than everyone else AND I actually know how to act." But I'm not that kind of person and instead I'm going to say, "You're a jerk." *note: As much as I hate admitting it, that first comment is true. There, I said it. I appreciate it all. Now, as much as I adore admitting it, the second comment is also true.
4. OMGob... you will never guess who I have classes with (okay, so most of you know but I went to a lot of trouble making this clip, so deal with it)
The OTHER Calliope. From Smokey's Cinderella! Now, of course I dropped the bomb that I was in Cinderella myself. But she saw it! And she said our transformation scene was better. Sadly, I had no complements in return (even though I almost said, "I like the little lights your tech crew wore around their necks...) but I did send her a link to my blog...
Okay, not really. Also, speaking of Calliope, I was eating in the bagel place today, and I saw Manerva across the room.
Oh the bliss of freaky coincidences.
5. So, the theatre department... more or less the kids in the theatre department. I know none of there names, so I usually have inner nicknames for them all. There is this tall, gay, black kid then there is the fat annoying girl who always shows her...chest. Then there is the girl that's like "I played Cinderella in Into the Woods and I'm best friends with everyone in the theatre department, ANNDD I LOOVE THEATTRE MMMORRRE THHHANN YOUUU!!" As if, freak-o. But the funny thing about it is, even if you did play Cinderella in Into the Woods that really doesn't tell me much about how good you are. For instance, she tried out for Othello and claimed she got called back for Desdemona. But yet she is Messenger #2. But where the actually hilarity flies, is when we all try to compare our high school programs...
FatAnnoyingChestyGirl (Did I mention she never shuts up? "I'm a theatre major, I'm a theatre major, I'm a theatre maj... Pleassse...): So, at my high school my drama teacher was CRazzy. We did a Midsummer's Night Dream. (*cough* Scotavious Rule #1: Shakespeare and high school is a no-no.) And a Holocaust play. (Say what?)
ILOOVETHEATTREGirl: Well, we did Les Mis and I played Cosette (just had to add that in there, didn't you?) and I had this costume made out of upholstery fabric that was five times to big for me...
Me: *casualscoff* We made our own costumes...
Bragging rights are beautiful. But out of all the pesky OMGTHEATRE kids, there is a few I like. Namely, the tall, black, gay kid. I knew we were destined to be friends when he asked me the valued question of "Are you on crack?" (Today he said "I wish you were on crack, because that would be AWsome!") He's been a sweetie ever since, complementing me on my hussy eyeshadow and wanting me to try out for Plaza Suite. He must of recognized my true potential, unlike someone else I know who gave me the part of Munchkin #2. *cough*Scotty*cough*
Okay, so I never actually acted out in that class, so it was really all my fault. Here's a note for all you people who don't think Scotty sees your true potential: the reason he doesn't see it is because you're not showing it. Blame yourself for once.
What's my problem...I'm defending Scotty. Someone must have put something in that Javalance... Probably crack... :)
Anywhooo, I didn't try out for lack of resume and headshot issues, but I was proud my tall, gay, black friend for obtaining the part of Othello in Othello.
6. All in all, I'm glad I'm commuting. No, I don't get to participate in things like the Honours College Cookout (WHAT AM I MISSING!?), but, as it is, I miss my mom way to much. And I see her everyday. Not only would I miss my mom, but I would miss all my old friends. And when I say old, I mean actually old. Like, Effie is 60....wait, no she's 59. Good job getting her age wrong, doofus. Speaking of last night, when I went out of the retirement homes parking lot (see what I mean, about OLD friends?) I took the wrong road. I eventually turned around in someones grass, but I was scared at the time...
7. College is a time for self-discovery...
Wait, who write stuff like that? That's garbage. And by the way Abigail, you hang out with me because you're a loser and I'm your only window for looking cool. And I stole your number 7 reason off your blog... the whole "College is about self-discovery..." I felt like looking like an idiot.
And how dare you mention my mud bathing, for it wasn't that at all. It was a war between me and the 11 year old cousin whose arm I broke. Big difference.
-me.
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