I do love Orange Soda...

Because Sociology was canceled, and I am going to wait and eat lunch until my lunch break, I am currently in the library, and I feel like expressing my...dorkiness to the world; mkay? Mkay!

This is titled: Why I love stage movement.

Why do I love stage movement? There is really only one reason. I am not particularly good or particularly fond of it. It's not a camaraderie class, or a easy class. It's hard and I have to work to be decent. BUT, I love it. And why?

Because...it has scope for imagination:
Yes, while I am doing all my silly stomping and marching, squats and statues and what not, there is always one thing going on in my mind. Today, it was Mulan.

As we march across the room, to our distinctly asian music, I have one thought running through my mind; I. Am. Mulan. My warriors are all around me, all men, and I'm the secret woman. I have proceeded to sing "I'll Make A Man Out of You," all day today. Complete with warrior march. While I go to class.

As I raise my invisible "spear," it is not a spear to me, but a wand. I raise that wand and imagine my billowy robes. As I do the whole "move like taffy," exercise, I stick my arm in the dueling position, ready to AK* some of Voldemort's posterior.

I raise my hands in front of me; I am Rafiki raising Simba while on pride rock.
When we do sitting statues, I am not just Rachel; I am a super hero, in flying position. And yes, my name is often 'The Feline Avenger.' My cape billows from my neck.

After doing 3 minutes of marching (Yes. 3 minutes. Of solid marching. My thighs are becoming quite hard.) and when I have to arise from the ground, I pretend I am a vampire, a newborn. (sorry, all you vampirelore people out there; twilight sparkly vampires will always be my favourite idea of a vampire.) Or a tigress. Or something even stupider.

When we do our rapier work (yes, me. With a sword. Lord help us all), I pretend as if I am slashing Zombies.

And we do everything to either Asian Techno or Asian Swing or Asian Battle Songs. Give or take; imagine that.

[end of nerdfit.]

I hope everyone is well. I saw Annie and it was quite precious. Jazzy was stupendous. And everyone else was alright. :) And that pencil moustache really suits you; reminds me of something else...

I found a hotpink guitar paperclip in the library. I'm taking it; because it makes my day. One has to find the small things in life to enjoy. Sure life is tough but we just have to count our blessings. I was feeling off yesterday, and I thought, "God, why ever are you not showering me with blessings? I don't understand. I'm a decent Christian; I have a slight potty mouth and I gossip something awful, but I'm trying to fix myself. I love everybody and try to do my best in everything; but why are things not going my way?" But then, I started thinking about it, and things are going my way; slowly but surely. And I am truly blessed; but it's all about patience my friends; patience.

My motto that has been deemed a stupid motto by someone who is even stupider is this:
Pray about everything, worry about nothing, and do your best.

[end of Godspeech.]

Speaking of speeches, I got my grade back from communications on my Zombie Speech (In 3 parts: The Zombie's Prevalence in Pop Culture, The Zombie, and Survival), and I made a 100. Speaking of this, reminds me of something else: I have this whole outlook on life where I will things to go my way. When it involves me at least. I pray, and then I will that I'll do well and... I do. It's fascinating. "It's like magic!"

...I fell like such a freak. More so than usual. :(
I also feel a bit like Pollyanna. "Let's play the glad game..."

Sadly, I do play the glad game. I was talking to Chris the other day and he was complaining about having so many scripts to read and I told him it could be worse; he could be bald. He agreed; that would be worse. We then figured out that he would be bald when he got older; I think it disheartened him a little. And then, after this whole eye surgery deal, I told him it could be worse. And he didn't see how, but I told him he could be blind. And he agreed, it could be worse.

...I'm so infectious. I'm like the happy disease. And I'm using a whole lotta semi-colons (;) for some reason. Pardon me, English teachers as you wriggle in pain.

Actually my happiness is making me vomit a little because it's so out of character. I am usually so... snarky.

So, onward with snark. November 21st, New Moon is arriving to theatres. One of two things is going to happen: I am going to dress like Alice Cullen, the love of my life who I want to be so bad it hurts; and I am going to squeal with girlish delight at the whole experience because I secretly love those books with all my heart that isn't taken up by Harry Potter or Nutella. Which doesn't leave much space, but you know...whatever.

I do like Edward Cullen, I do. I like his broody prissiness. I just don't like the fact that he watches Bella sleep. That's... creepy. That and the fact that he actually goes back and oils her window so he can properly sneak in without making a sound.
Edward: That's creepy.

I do hate Bella though, although, as bad as Kristen Stewart is, I do enjoy her portrayal of Bella. She takes the whine factor down a lot. And I am thankful. I do hope she plays off the whole "Edward's gone," thing better than Bella does in the book. 4 blank pages with nothing but months on them to show the passing of time... please Bella. No boy is worth wallowing in self pity! I haven't done that since...
...
...Let's play the glad game! At least Edward isn't dead!

[Just kidding; the last time I wallowed in self pity wasn't too long ago, (I usually light a candle and listen to Celine Dion and just...lay there. My mother tells me I can be a little dramatic. *sigh* C'est Vrai.) but as for the matter of doing it over a boy, I don't think I've done that since like, the 8th grade.]

But let's talk about High Brow literature: Harry Potter.

Voldemort is. The best. Character. In this world. EVER.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I am Lord Voldemort. That was always my Harry Potter nickname. Well, technically we called me Lord Voldiepizzle [My gangster Wizard Name; yo.], but still, more or less.

Which brings me to the birthday present I still have to put on my car. Kaley [lovingly] sent me 5 bumper stickers that look like this:
I can't find an adequate picture, but they say "Republicans For Voldemort."

Now, yes, I realize this is supposed to be an anti-republican joke (Oh, you liberals are so witty!), but, once I am both Lord Voldemort and I think Lord Voldemort is the...cats meow, AND I am a God-fearing Republican, it must go on my car. But where to put it? I think it needs to cover up that cheesy one that says "And what difference do you make," that I didn't put on there because it's cheesy. No one will help me take it off though, because they think it's cool. Blegh.

...HARRY POTTER RULES.

So, yeah, that's life. Pretty delicious, I daresay, but busy. I read a lot. And watch A LOT of Disney movies. And Anne of Green Gables. I'm getting in touch with my inner child or something. Whatever.

Speaking of reading, I have one tiny qualm to discuss before I exit. If I, have to read, one more book with a beautiful but unnoticed heroine, who gets the dreamy popular guy and they fall in love within two weeks, and no one notices her but him, and oh, she's so special now, and wait, SHE IS SPECIAL in the way that Jesus was special to her whole entire race and she's going to be the saviour to them all, all while having her dreamy mancake and being gorgeous and unique and interesting, I AM GOING TO BARF. All these cheesy teen books are so cheesy. I've read a few lately because I'm not feeling up to reading the meaty classics I usually read, but heck, I'm dragging those bad boys out. I cannot take another selfless and gorgeous heroine. I can't. I can't do it guys.

WHY CAN'T A HEROINE BE FAT AND UGLY UNIQUE. I feel like I'm ugly, (I've already figured this one out; it's good to be ugly [in fact I favour being ugly] because then people like you for you and not for your looks. America is obsessed with looks; it's good too be liked for more.)or at least not ubber attractive by normal standards, and I'm unique and interesting. AUTHORS, QUIT MAKING YOUR HEROINE'S BEAUTIFUL. I'M TIRED.

Thank you Jane Eyre. For simply existing.

(sidenote: WHY IS THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME NOT A BROADWAY MUSICAL [besides in Germany.] I WANT TO KNOW.)

I'm going to go get lunch now. G'dbye.

-Me.

Pee.Ess.
GUYS I THINK I'M PSYCHIC. NO SERIOUSLY. I had a dream last night that my mom worked for Sesame Street and she had kept Elmo, Grover and Oscar the Grouch and they were in my closet. I don't know why I dreamed this because there was honestly no catalyst.

THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS SESAME STREETS 40TH ANNIVERSARY. THIS MORNING.

I. Have. A. GIFT.


*Avada Kedavra: The Killing Curse. DUH.

On a Tuesday, you can see forever...

This is a beautiful morning.  It reminds me of the simple pleasures of high school.  I remember running for milk in the morning, one in each hand for Scotty's cereal.  Everyone would watch and shake their heads or laugh.  It's now a general joke to get me to run.  The weather is super pleasant and the only thing missing is my old friends and Robbie's closet that I need to clean out.  Again.

My acting class is going relatively well.  My acting teacher told me he was disappointed because we got into character but didn't get in the character.  It's hard to explain but he wants us to literally become that person.  He also noted that some of us were way too cartoonish (which I think he means too much energy and too "big") and to that I guffaw for we all know that "do it big" is the motto of life (not to mention it makes more sense.)  I'm not sure what's going on... but I like our way better.

He also has told me that I was too perky.  Hm...

And we did this game.  What you had to do was lay down on the ground and relax while your partner felt all over you helping you with "tension."  I know I was supposed to relax but it's awful hard to when you are trying your hardest to look serious.  I daresay I felt a little violated.

Before class though, I dropped by Uncle Scotty's and watched some skits.  I happened to record this one of dearest Jonathan:

I just adore the ending.  Then I was off to Acting to be violated then I came back to see Scotty again.  I walked into his third period and I saw Jennifer who actually bear gripped me, and I commented that black made her look slim but threw in some fat jokes all the same.  She informed me that she had lost weight and to that I received a "well Rachel found it."  Jerk.  Then Ric hit me with his marble track pole and in the corner I saw him give Everett a high five. 

I then sewed some buttons on Nikki's costume and ate about fifty chocolate squares.  Alex decided she would rather put thread on a shirt than art so she showed up and we all talked a lot.  Everett stole my glasses and made good use of them:

Which was so phenomenally adorable that a picture was taken.  I then finished and school was out.  Lori (Kelly's sister) came in waiting for Kelly who then showed up and this is where the fun begins.  Kelly drew me an amazing picture of me as a star killing people (their were carcasses surrounding me) and Everett wrote me a charming poem that ends in "if you would lose 50 pounds then you wouldn't be so round."  We all decided to go waste time together so we got in Sev and went.  But first we had to drop of Lori at the health department.

So I wasn't quite sure where to go so they were directing me and they told me to turn and I accidently went in the wrong lane.  So I just go over the median and drive on until Kelly and Everett notice that there is a cop behind me (no blue lights mind you.)  So I keep driving and park at the health dept. and Lori gets out and we sit there and next thing I know I have this lady cop at my window.  She tells me that I need to pay more attention to the road and less to my friends.  Not only that but she says it super cocky and the ironic thing is that my friends were paying attention to the road as well and helping me with it.  Kelly said I was pitiful and to make me feel better she sat up front with me and we left Everett in the back where he belonged.  We then went to Wal*Mart and bikes were rode in the aisle and a hula hoop tournament went on.  And we looked at an Obama book.  Blegh.

I was hungry so we went to Dairy Queen where Everett and I bashed every one of Kelly's lovely beliefs (bible style) and it was sort of like a dog chasing its tail.  We then left, and Everett taught me how to use my cruise button (because I suck at driving apparently) and we went to the play ground where we climbed up the slide and then went down it, see sawed, spider swung, (not very successfully.  Poor Kelly.)  and did lots more.  It was great fun.

Onto rehearsal which was fun (the best part is to watch us bird girls scamper across backstage at mach speed.)  This part is one of the most fun parts ever.  I love to dance but not only do I get to dance I get to be a diva as well.  We discussed getting matching underwear with "Bird Girl" on the butt and we then had some lovely conversations about everything.  I believe this is going to be an amazing play.  Robbie had some footage of the whole thing and I told him he should make a whole video of it and hand it out to us all.  It would be amazing.

Oh and Chris showed up and we all had great fun talking about Western and old plays we all did together.  Kelly and Chris talked about their wonderful moments while dancing and it was hilarious.  Brianna and I then talked about life and it was deep.  Fun, fun, fun.  :)

And this Friday I have a birthday party to look forward to.  Someone turned extremely old and someone else is youthful so good day to them.  Pizza and movie is my style.  :)

-Me

Bleed With Me Harry!

Harry and I would like to express our remorse upon Obama winning the presidency.  This is how we feel on the inside.

-Me

Bye, Bye, America.

You know when you reach that point when you try to keep your big mouth shut, but all of a sudden you decide to defend your claim, not caring about others opinions, acting the exact way they do to you?  Well, all of a sudden, I'm feeling a need to EXPLAIN my reasons instead of someone just hearing how I feel.

In this, I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm not saying I'm right (even though I am.) but I am stating exactly how I feel, and thank GOD (and I mean it.) that you can not interrupt.

Before I start, let me state something.  I am not a perfect Christian.  Actually, I think I'm pretty lousy.  I bend to some temptation far to easily, and I dare say it's not anything I'm proud of.  In fact, I should probably be on a one way trip to Hell about right now.  But, thankfully, God had mercy and I accepted his gift and now I get to go to Heaven instead.  Needless to say, I'm still not worth it.

This reminds me of something else, and I realized it's going to lead right into my discussion.  Do you know how many people tell me, "I'm  saved!" yet they party, drink, have premarital sex, and SUPPORT issues wrongly.  I'm not saying you are not saved, because I do not know.  That's between you and God.  (But if you have any doubt, you should be dropping to your knees right now and making it right.)  But, what I don't get, is why there isn't any DESIRE to change.  You realize, when you accept Jesus, that desire to do sinful things is gone?  You WANT to please Jesus, that's the goal.  You want to give up all that stuff and live life for him.  Not to say temptation will not strike you, and not to say that you will not give in.  But to want to stop that behavior, to do anything to be like Jesus, that my friends, is being saved.  And then their is backsliding from Jesus, and that's a WHOLE different story.  I'll explain it one day...

Which brings up, why, if you are a saved, if Jesus has touched you so much that you do not want to live your life sinfully, how could you ever vote for a man who is for abortion and for gay marriage.  And don't give me the bull about the "economy."  Let me tell you something, GOD WILL PROVIDE.  Shall I repeat?  GOD WILL PROVIDE!  I'm not saying that we will always have the finest.  I'm not saying that we won't have to eat cabbage soup for five years.  But regardless, IF you put your trust in the him, GOD WILL PROVIDE.  You can live without Xbox 360, a candy bar a day, coffee, and fast cars.  There is a difference between wants and needs, and God will supply the needs.

You may think Obama's economy plan is brilliant.  But, what about his stand on abortion and gay marriage.  Abortion should not be a CHOICE.  Life starts at conception.  There are alive things in this world and there are dead things in this world, and that is the divide.  And you can't tell me that a baby starts out dead and then becomes alive.  And when you end something that is alive, that is considered murder.  No one can argue with that.  But they can say, "well it's the mothers body..."

Momma knows what makes her pregnant.  Momma made a choice, and has a responsibility.  What is nine months to a lifetime?  To give something life?  If that life wasn't meant to be, then that's up to God.  It's not up to Momma - who's so selfish that she doesn't want to carry a baby for 9 measly months - to place death upon her child.  It is God's to decide who lives and dies.  A baby is a living a creature, and someone has to defend it from death.  And abortion does not.

And yes, I am aware that woman will find some means of aborting, so keep the system so she won't die, right?  Well, the baby is dying either way, legally or not legally.  Is that okay?  It's not okay by the Bible... is it okay by you?

Gay marriage.  Being gay is a SIN.  It's in the bible is speaks against it for it is a sin.  BUT, the sin of being gay is equal in God's eyes to lying to your mother or committing murder.  All sins are equal in God's eyes.  Everybody sins.  Does this make it okay.  Noooo.  Sinning is not okay.  Can gay people be saved?  Yesss... but, that revolves all around that wanting to live for Jesus, and fighting against temptation is something that is present in a saved person.  Homosexuality is a temptation just like anything else.  The devil knows your weaknesses and he pesters you about it.  Grates you.  Talks you into things... "well maybe I AM gay."  He does to everyone, saved and non-saved.  Sometimes you take a stand... sometimes, you don't.  It all depends how strong you to get past it.  And that's the wonderful thing about God.  HE HELPS YOU GET PAST IT!   You don't have to go through temptation alone... isn't that fantastic!  He helps you!  Homosexuality is nothing more than succumbing to sin, just like getting drunk or having sex before marriage.  Or like telling a lie or getting jealous.  It's all the a same in Gods eyes.  Just because it's all the same, does that make it any less wrong?  No.

Marriage is sacred.  It's between a man and a woman, and it was not intended to be any other way.  If you want to get extremely technical about it, tab a fits into slot b.  Why acknowledge sin, let it seem acceptable?  There is no reason.

I'm pretty sure I covered EVERYTHING that I wanted to.  America is going downhill, and frankly, the answer isn't McCain OR Obama.  It's God.  Which brings up one more tiny, tiny, TINY, thing I want to bring up.  It is speculated that Obama is against Israel.  For me, just that sort of speculation is enough to make me say no way.  Do you have any idea how scary that is?  The day America turns her back on Israel, is the day that it REALLY goes downhill.  You think we have it bad now?  Well, that's just *sigh* another step forward to Operation: Rapture.  The Isrealites are God's chosen, and to go against them...ah.  And proof of that is if you look back at any war, anyone who was for Isreal won.  God is on their side.

I'm not saying Obama is against it or not.  I'm just saying what would happen if he was.

I suppose this is what it ALL boils down to.

I'm a Christian first.  A Republican second.

They go hand in hand, in my opinion.  I'm not saying you're not a Christian if you vote for Obama (but you're obviously not voting by your religion.)  I am not saying you're a bad person or anything.  I know, "separation of church and state."  Well guess what?  I CAN'T do that.  Jesus is (and should be) the most important thing ever, and to put him first means you have to sacrifice somethings.  In return you get eternal life, no illness, and a happiness and all over peace that is unbelievable.  Salvation and mercy.  It's your choice.  I know I'm not going to change your mind, and you sure as well are not going to change mine.  But it's just some food for thought.  I nearly cringe at the plethora of hate mail that will be awaiting me.  But after all this is my blog, my personal space, and you didn't have to hit the button.

And I just realized that I forgot to actually post any bible verses!  Silly me!  I would now if I had my bible with me, but sadly I'm at school and I do not.  (See, I'm not perfect!  I don't have a single verse memorized!)  If you are absolutely certain that I am wrong about the proof in the Bible, then leave me a comment and I'll be sure to post those bad boys up in another post.

-Me

Pee.Ess.

As if I can't shut up.  Everyone who keeps telling me Obama is going to win and how does it feel?  Well, I'm accepting.  But, I dare say he's just a fad.  To quote my dearest Uncle, "his poop smells just as bad as yours does."  (there goes my vow to never make a poop joke.)  But needless to say, even if you think Obama has it in the bag, well, you may be wrong.  If it's God's will, then yes he does.  If it isn't, then you can be prepared for a McCain presidency.  And if that's not his will either, then Huzzah to Ralph Nader.  God is still in control regardless and there is still a way your precious Obama could lose.  Don't underestimate God's power because that's when it gets ugly.  :P

My Birthday of AWSOME.

There is nothing like left over birthday meals.

As everyone should know, last Saturday was my birthday. The big 1-8, and what a birthday it was! The best birthday of my life started with me sitting in the parking lot 30 minutes early. After Amanda showed up I had someone to talk to. Then Nikki, Effie and the other one showed up. Effie refused to let me in the door, and I was ushered to the back where I found my care package. A set of butterfly wings, a tiara, a wand (I LOST MY WAND!!), Mickey and Minnie figurines, a bag of Sour Patch kids, a bag of Pixie Sticks, a little bitty book for scrapbooking my birthday, a Magndoodle, some pens, a pair of sunglasses, clip on earrings and a GABRIELLA BARBIE DOLL!11! From High School MUSICAL!1!

And…a Susan Pons shirt for my cat. (Because they're republicans...)

Smudge was okay with it. It didn't bother him THAT much...Gracie on the other hand:

...was not. You can also tell it doesn't fit. At all.

After I had been instructed that I HAD to wear the wings and crown all day, we sandwiched in the car and went to Chic-Fil-A. I had a sandwich and a chocolate shake, which I ordered seriously as I waved my wand. I then finished off Nikki and Scotty’s fries.

Off we were to the MALL OF GEORGIA to shoppie-poo. Ahmazzing time… it’s been a while since I have had that much fun at a mall. We went to vitamin store, and saw, interesting man vitamins, then Nikki and Amanda took forever in New York and Company. But it was okay, because I like them. And besides, if Scotty, Effie and I hadn’t been sitting outside, we wouldn’t have run into TROY!
He was there with his cousin seeing a Jabberwocky thing (surprisingly Jabberwocky isn’t underlined in red for Spell Check…hm...) and he talked to us for a while. Insulted me first, then talked. His cousin later that day randomly offered me a sip of his drink. ?...

We then broke up, me and Effie going to dELiA*s to get some PURPLE SKINNY JEANS and some boring normal skinny jeans, and thanks to her persisting I try them on, I got the right size. They are soo amazing. We then went to Old Navy and I got a yellow shirt and a teal shirt with a stain glass looking tree, and it is ever so neat. And I got to use momma’s Old Navy credit card! Credit cards are super easy… perhaps mom will let me borrow one next time I go shopping. ..hee hee.

Anywho, Effie and I were sort of hungry and thirsty so we raided the sample trays (they always serve the same chicken) and I went outside and got a Sprite. Once I spilled it all over my hands, I washed them in the fountain outside while some people from Spain took pictures in front of the fountain. Effie and I then managed to lose the bottle cap…not sure how. We met up with Scotty and went to the Disney Store (where else?) where I got a 99 cent Arial sandwich box. Huzzah!
It was somewhere between sharing Scotty’s raisin bagel and lamenting over the vest I couldn’t buy that we heard of the adventure we would soon have to embark on. After already getting three agile sweater vests (I know one was a mix of black, red and grey. Imagine that.) someone was persistent about getting a brown blazer from Banana Republic that another mall was holding for him.

30 minutes later we are at North Point mall. A great place that was completely white and looked like a greenhouse. We played in the Apple Store (Everything Apple = Awesome.) which was amazing fun. Scotty got his blazer, Nikki got a jacket she had been wanting for forever and Nikki and I rode the glass elevator, where we then lost everyone else. It was then we went to:
Bahama Breeze!

And how wonderful it was! I had never ate there before, and it was all so magical. First, I had a coke. Then a salad with fabulous citrus vinaigrette. Cuban bread with tomatoes and cheese on top. And JERK CHICKEN PASTA. And it was FABULOUS! It was spicy and Italian all at the same time, and I felt as if my taste buds were having a party. It was at this eating, Effie gave me my present. Hilarious card about how weird smells and theatre go hand in hand (alas, it is true.) and a present wrapped in wood. I had to unscrew it when I got home. Way to be creative Effie. In it, wrapped in Little Mermaid wrapping paper (HOW DID SHE KNOW?) was two awesome and funk-ay belts. So, thank you Effie! I kept the box, and the paper, and the card, and the belts, and the envelope…

After we finished eating, Nikki took two running fits through the parking lot, then successfully drove her cars without the keys. We then went to World Market, which was the neatest store ever. So much crafty and unique stuff, it’s hard to explain how cool it was to me. It reminded me of my second favorite movie ever, The Darjeeling Limited.

Coming home, I talked incessantly while everyone else sort of slept. I like to talk. A lot. And the coke was getting to my system. Caffeine, caffeine. As you can tell from my, dysfunctional looking picture, I wasn’t all there at the moment.
Wow, this is a loooong blog! But it was all so fun, it hurts me to leave out some things. Like Scotty reading my blog off his phone to the car and the five solid minutes of laughter following my gorgeous picture (I blinked funny while he was taking it…). Another moment in my life gone…so many possibilities left. :)

And that was cheesy…LIEKS MY JERK CHICKEN PASTA! W/ A BUTTLOAD OF PARMAJAN!

-Me

As the election heats up...

Beauty and politics go hand in hand.

...I think this picture essentially explains its self.

Oh Mr. Left Lane, I likith you a lot.

Getting to college sometimes has to be a hurried process. It's a bad thing to be behind a car going 25 mph. So therefore, one of my big fears has been conquered: getting Sev in the left lane.

I'm not sure how much he likes it, for the wheel always shakes when I get to 60 (but I never go over that anyway. I drive like a grandma.) but he pumps it out and we get past the RV. I'm so proud, I might actually bother getting the toilet paper out of his trunk.


Not only has he been getting the job done, he is now looking pretty fly:

As you can see, this is where our priorities are. It's funny, because the most signs, the most bumper stickers I have seen, are not McCain, but Susan Pons. I swear, every car I get behind has one on it. And random places, like outside land fields while I'm going to Western, there are no signs but Susan Pons signs. It's crazy. Crazy good.

Vote Susan Pons. Or me and the Sevmister will run you over.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

-Me.

Hello my name is stress, but you can call me College.

Hayyy everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean the three or less people who read my blog. Right now I am sitting in the UC drinking a Javalance (my recent addiction...and only 1.5 grams of fat) for lunch because Abigail and I are going out with Uncle Scotty and Aunt Nikki before this big Republican thingine at Western. Vote Susan Pons! Or else...

Wait, what kind of threat could I possibly place? I'll cat-rub you out of existence?

Mahh... anyway, COLLEGE. I think I am going to tell you about it the same way Abigail did on her blog (hey, that was the first time I ever actually read one through!). Numbers make everything better...

1. Parking is awful. Unless you get there ubber early and get to park behind the library. Parking at the field house is torture, and it literally takes 30 minutes to get to the center part of the school. CatTrans (or, once all the lazy fat people wait for them to travel to their next class that's approx. 10 meters away, FatTrans) can pick you up, but it's often not worth the hassle of waiting.

2. College isn't as frighting as it seems. Even though Abigail may act cool in her blog, the first day she was freaking out. I was just bored. And for the record Abigail, freaking out about forgetting your schedule and a pair of socks doesn't count for being freaked about about college.

3. Math is easy, I already know it all. Theatre is easy, I've known it all since the 6th grade. Now, I could humble myself and say, "Thank you Scotty. Because of you, I'm smarter than everyone else AND I actually know how to act." But I'm not that kind of person and instead I'm going to say, "You're a jerk." *note: As much as I hate admitting it, that first comment is true. There, I said it. I appreciate it all. Now, as much as I adore admitting it, the second comment is also true.

4. OMGob... you will never guess who I have classes with (okay, so most of you know but I went to a lot of trouble making this clip, so deal with it)

The OTHER Calliope. From Smokey's Cinderella! Now, of course I dropped the bomb that I was in Cinderella myself. But she saw it! And she said our transformation scene was better. Sadly, I had no complements in return (even though I almost said, "I like the little lights your tech crew wore around their necks...) but I did send her a link to my blog...

Okay, not really. Also, speaking of Calliope, I was eating in the bagel place today, and I saw Manerva across the room.

Oh the bliss of freaky coincidences.

5. So, the theatre department... more or less the kids in the theatre department. I know none of there names, so I usually have inner nicknames for them all. There is this tall, gay, black kid then there is the fat annoying girl who always shows her...chest. Then there is the girl that's like "I played Cinderella in Into the Woods and I'm best friends with everyone in the theatre department, ANNDD I LOOVE THEATTRE MMMORRRE THHHANN YOUUU!!" As if, freak-o. But the funny thing about it is, even if you did play Cinderella in Into the Woods that really doesn't tell me much about how good you are. For instance, she tried out for Othello and claimed she got called back for Desdemona. But yet she is Messenger #2. But where the actually hilarity flies, is when we all try to compare our high school programs...

FatAnnoyingChestyGirl (Did I mention she never shuts up? "I'm a theatre major, I'm a theatre major, I'm a theatre maj... Pleassse...): So, at my high school my drama teacher was CRazzy. We did a Midsummer's Night Dream. (*cough* Scotavious Rule #1: Shakespeare and high school is a no-no.) And a Holocaust play. (Say what?)

ILOOVETHEATTREGirl: Well, we did Les Mis and I played Cosette (just had to add that in there, didn't you?) and I had this costume made out of upholstery fabric that was five times to big for me...

Me: *casualscoff* We made our own costumes...

Bragging rights are beautiful. But out of all the pesky OMGTHEATRE kids, there is a few I like. Namely, the tall, black, gay kid. I knew we were destined to be friends when he asked me the valued question of "Are you on crack?" (Today he said "I wish you were on crack, because that would be AWsome!") He's been a sweetie ever since, complementing me on my hussy eyeshadow and wanting me to try out for Plaza Suite. He must of recognized my true potential, unlike someone else I know who gave me the part of Munchkin #2. *cough*Scotty*cough*

Okay, so I never actually acted out in that class, so it was really all my fault. Here's a note for all you people who don't think Scotty sees your true potential: the reason he doesn't see it is because you're not showing it. Blame yourself for once.

What's my problem...I'm defending Scotty. Someone must have put something in that Javalance... Probably crack... :)

Anywhooo, I didn't try out for lack of resume and headshot issues, but I was proud my tall, gay, black friend for obtaining the part of Othello in Othello.

6. All in all, I'm glad I'm commuting. No, I don't get to participate in things like the Honours College Cookout (WHAT AM I MISSING!?), but, as it is, I miss my mom way to much. And I see her everyday. Not only would I miss my mom, but I would miss all my old friends. And when I say old, I mean actually old. Like, Effie is 60....wait, no she's 59. Good job getting her age wrong, doofus. Speaking of last night, when I went out of the retirement homes parking lot (see what I mean, about OLD friends?) I took the wrong road. I eventually turned around in someones grass, but I was scared at the time...

7. College is a time for self-discovery...

Wait, who write stuff like that? That's garbage. And by the way Abigail, you hang out with me because you're a loser and I'm your only window for looking cool. And I stole your number 7 reason off your blog... the whole "College is about self-discovery..." I felt like looking like an idiot.

And how dare you mention my mud bathing, for it wasn't that at all. It was a war between me and the 11 year old cousin whose arm I broke. Big difference.

-me.

Updatles

Why do I always use numbers?

1. So, today I am at the library. After a pack of free twizzlers; Abigail had some odd bout with the vending machine, which she is now eating in the no eating zone while commentating on the weirdos in the library, questioning why I come here in the first place. She's the weirdo for following me here in the first place. Stalker.

Am not! she says. Well, I may not know much but cat rubbing isn't usually part of a normal cousin-to-cousin relationship.

Then again, normalcy isn't quite a word that describes our relationship (You know, sort of like Scotty and Sam. I know what I saw.)

2. So I locked myself out my car the yesterday. I went to the hair dressers, and I started looking for my keys. Couldn't find them, so I went out to the car and they were in the ignition. Luckily I had barely cracked the passenger side mirror and a few gentleman were more than welcome to come to my assistance. After sticking crowbars and metal rods in my window, they ran into the mexican place and borrowed a metal hanger. It was then that my door was unlocked. I went to take my keys out of the ignition, and it was still running. What is generally bad about it all is I could have just rolled down the automatic window with the hanger and unlocked it that way. Sometimes my stupidity gets the best of me.

3. So I have this new mouthwash. It's called Smart Rinse by Listerine. It's so amazing because when I spit it out, it tints all the food and bacteria so I can see that it's working. I have 'Berry Shield' flavour, and it is so ubberly delicious that I just want to drink it.

4. Abigail is really acting like a freak. She keeps feeding me twizzlers and winking at me. I am not sure if I should be creeped out or...creeped out. The twizzler just fell out my mouth. I think it is because my mouth always seems to be agape.

5. I had my first tomato this year yesterday. When I ate it, I think I went to heaven and back. I could almost write an ode to tomatoes I love them soooo much. Yum... yum... yum.

6. Guess what? I am going to be in the talent show this year. Not for any real talent of course; Taylor is controlling all of me. We are doing "They Both Reached For The Gun" from Chicago, and I am going to be a puppet. I hope it will be good, but when it comes to moving my body, it just usually doesn't end well.

7. I get to register to VOTE! I have been waiting for this moment all my life. Who cares about getting to smoke and buying dirty videos at 18? I GETS TO VOOOTES! The greatest thing though, is that on the registration form it has a place to draw a map of where you live if you don't have a street address. So basically, if you are a hobo, you can vote. Stellar, eh?

8. I saw some old pictures of my future husband in leather pants today. And my goodness, he is a looker!

-Me.

Keep It GAY!

...

My love for Harry Potter. Essentially gone. I went on the Internet today, and J.K. Rowling confessed that Dumbledore was gay. What. The. Heck.

The sad thing: People are very, very, pleased. This disgusts me to no end.




I am super glad the series is over. Because, frankly, the militant Christians that are all like 'HARRY POTTER IS THE DEVIL' are finally right. Obviously. A perfectly wonderful series and she has to screw it all up.

I feel like part of my world has just...died. Sure, I shouldn't get that worked up over something like this, but... go ahead, say that being gay is okay, and I'll bring the bible out and show you exactly where it proves you wrong and me right. And, yes I am fully aware that God loves gay people and doesn't love the sin. Don't whack me with that because I is nots stooppids.

[...well, sort of not. I am a little bit of a dork.]

In fact one of my friends asked me, "if a person is born with sin, then why can't one be born gay."

I just now realized something wrong with this statement. A person can't be born with sin, because look at a baby. Absolutely perfect. It's when the whole *shibam* AGE OF ACCOUNTABILITY pops up. The whole Right and Wrong thing. Then a person is going to hell. Not before.

...oh well. There will be no Harry Potter in heaven, so I reckon it matters not. Just kind of feel dumb about this scar on my wrist...

And it makes me even more angry because J.K. Rowling says their are parallels between Harry and Christianity. Yet she puts sinful crap in there.... um, sorry, but last time I checked Jesus wasn't gay or anything.

All in all, I suppose I still get them pineapples. You know... in heaven. While I'm being sexy... in heaven. And yeah.

Pee.Ess.

You know, if I was Harry, I would frankly be plain out puzzled on why Dumbledore always liked late night visits to his office and always held onto my arm and stuff... I would just wonder.

...Harry isn't gay. Just... don't go there. You know who you are. For if you do, I will keel you... in some highly-imaginative-way-that-seems-like-a-accident-but-definantly-isn't kind of way.

Money makes the world go around, the world go around, the world go around...

Alas... internet fads.

I dunno. But it seems everybody is migrating to something else (i.e. myspace to facebook.) and internet fads come... and go. People get offended because you didn't friend them, or you called them stupid or ignored them or something, and it's just stupid.

I went from 115 friends to 102, and keeping up with that many is stupid. Only old people and artists use blogger, and I thought... why not?

Xanga isn't nothing but corupt ville, and out of my 102 friends about 8 read my blog on MySpace... so... whutevva. Plus, I can talk about all the people I hate and NO ONE HAS TO KNOW... muhahahhahaah... *evil laugh*

...no. Seriously.

Sewww... on to the exciting things at school!

Senior this year. Slack classes? Not so much.

1. Pre Cal - is mkay... I am quite good at math, (100 average all last year. yah.) but on our review is kind of boring... I just got out of math, lets get on to the good stooof. Like Pre-Cal. Yes, I realize that nearly everyone else needs review, but I got it the last fifty time Mrs. Leonard taught it to me.

2. Theatre IV - It's drama... 'nuff said. Okay... all I've got to say is I'm super glad that one short girl who sang nasily and DRIVES ME TO THE POINT OF CARVING ORNATE BED POSTS OUT OF MY LEGS isn't there because she annoyed me. "lyk omg guyz... bffl." *note: She writes just like that, and you sit there wondering where correct grammar went. All these 'lol' and 'wtf' and whatevers... It's not impressive. Just. Stop. Please. Oh, and Drama is absolutly missing some sort of link without Nick, Jarrod and Anna. No one to push me around, feed me salt, play candles with, totally basterdize my beliefs, cheat with me on cards, etc. Perhaps I'll have to be all the drama II and I's master. Hm... 'Master Rachel' certainly has a ring to it. 'Firstie get me a drink.'

Actually it's sort of to the point to pathetic because they do it. Of course I did it too, but... oh, never mind. There was a method to my ignorance. *sigh*

3. English 12 Honours: I really like Mrs. Eldridge. I've never been much of an English fan, but I pretty much love her class. Just the fact that she gets all up in what she teaches is awsome. Monotone is definantly not a word to describe her.

4. Art II: I've never took an art class before, but I like it so far. I drew a colooge of ears, noses, lips, and ears. And it looks like vibrant barf. Yay.

...I don't want to graduate, but... I suppose I'll have too. Harry dropped out, so why can't I? (Just kidding... I definantly don't want to drop out. I'm 19 in the class, I have come so far. And my mother would beat my rearend in if I even suggested it.) Of course he had to go bust a cap in Voldie, and I don't. Uhoh, HPADD just kicked in...

THE SERIES IS OVER. *tear* Actually, I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I'm glad to know what happened. Harry didn't die, and, on top of it all, he had GINNY's baby. Garh. I hate you Harry. You were supposed to marry me. ME DURN IT.

I'll keel you.

...oh and I think I have strep, but whatever. Dranage is "naaast-e." <--[how Abigrail pronouces it.]

I hope I'm not dying. Preacher Wooten says we are all dying, and it's true, we are. But I mean quicker than my time. I want to vote. A lot. Upcomming election. Pretty darn excited. Who I want to get it thus far? I'm between Gulliani and Huckabee. I'll be for anyone as long as Hillary doesn't win. I'd rather lick mustard off roadkill than vote for a democrat. Unless they were secretly republican. Then I'd be game.

-Mah.

Pee.Ess.
I'm glad Abismell isn't anal today. She was yesterday. DON'T ARGUE WITH ME ABIGAIL BECAUSE YOU WON'T WIN. YOU WERE GRUMPY AND IT WASN'T YOUR MOTHER IT WAS ALL YOU.

Yesss... Abigail has a grumpy side believe it or not. And I am usually the cause of it.