Liversss

So, acting II has been canceled for today; sort of happy; not looking too forward to Psychological Gestures, although it is over the top, so therefore, RAPTORISMS abound.  There is a girl in the UC who is wearing a Slytherin tee-shirt.  Naturally she also goes by the name of 'Kitty' and wears animal ears.  Oh, how our fandom is perceived.  i.e. badly.  The same people in her group are talking about Wizard Magazine being canceled.  I now see what it's like to be surrounded by me.

I don't really know what to type at the moment, except I'm enjoying Chic-Fil-A and I have a company meeting at 5.  *le sigh*  There are somethings I don't like; that company is sometimes one of them.  They screech for 'professionalism' yet I think my cat is more professional [professionally awesome, that's what he is.]  I suppose I'm supposed to feel super *connected* with the company or something, and we're supposed to be a family.  But only three people out of the 25 have actually bothered getting my phone number on the sake that they actually like me.  And I retract that, because one only contacts me in regard to homework and the other one only gave it to me so I could pass it out to girls.  And the other one is Chris, so we know how that one goes.

BUT yours truly feels bad if she doesn't volunteer for something so alack, I am house manager.  All things considering, I prefer this.  First off, I actually somewhat know how to run house, secondly this means while the show is going on I get to sit outside and read books or study french; possibly the latest HoN book if I can remember what happened in the first 7.  House of Night books and I go way back when it comes to doing WCU shows, and this cheesetastic vampyre boarding school series is so bad, but like a car accident, you can't look away.  It makes me mad though, because the puny human never wins; in fact HE DIES.  :(

Okay, so Alex gets it because she actually owns the book.  We go way back, Alex and I.  Mm, Dr. Flamez is all up in yr stuff.

This morning  I was driving and I was so cold and why can I still see my breath? The car is usually warm by the time I reach the bridge, and it was just very cold and very bad.  That usually means my radiator is acting up, but I checked the gauge and no, it was fine, and I kept going.  But still, SO COLD, so I passed the taxidermy, and sure enough there it was on hot.  So I made it to the Cullasaja BP and parked, and sat there and called my mom and went inside and looked like a moron because I kept staring at the section that housed the, um, contraceptives.  I didn't realize I was staring until later [there were q-tips and toothpaste in the section too] and WHATEVER.  I also looked at the movies.

Lucas Grabble now stars in a new sensational, 3 dollar gas station special:

You remember, Sharpay's not-gay brother who is the only one in the series who can truly sing.  Apparently, 'Food Boy' can make food appear out of thin air or something.  That's his power.  Then he battles with if he wants said power or if he wants to be normal.  To me, this is a no brainer:  first off, YOU CAN CONJURE FOOD.  Who wouldn't want that power?  Secondly, um, no packing your lunch and having soggy tomato sandwiches, because you can CONJURE food.  Thirdly, ship that kid off to Africa and feed those kids; it's like, the end all to world hunger.

Although, I'm not going to lie, I almost want to see this $3.00 DVD Gas Station special.  God knows that I dearly love to laugh, and expecially when it's at someone/something's expense.  Heck, I'll even laugh at MY expense.

My mother showed up before I could make said purchase, to pick me up, and Subaru Jim is coming to pick Sevs up.  Subaru Jim works on Subaru cars.  He is has a shabby garage and it has a plethora of Subaru vehicles on the front.  He knows his stuff though, and rumor has it that the Subaru corporation actually contacts him on things regarding them.  He also is very apt to be appeasing and take care of the situation fairly and honestly.  He fixed Sevy the other two times his radiator messed up (and that time I blew a head gasket.)

OH YA'LL.

Apparently, Sharpay is offering her, *cough* talents in an all new movie, Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure.  I kid you not.  Ya'll this, this, is bad.  And it's straight to DVD; rightly so.

Speaking of High School alums, dear Vanessa Anne Hudgens [don't get me to convay how very much I dislike her] is STARING in a new movie.  Beastly is the name, and although I do NOT like her in any way, I will admit that the 13-year-old fan girl in me is very excited for this movie.  Not to mention the guy who plays the beast might be the most handsome movie star I have ever seen.  In my life.  No lies.  I want him.

And he's British. *swoooon*

Mentioning him, they are wanting him for the lead [one is speculated; one is for sure] in the next two movie series that are alleged to be the next IT.  One is The Hunger Games by Susanne Collins and the other is Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare.  The former is absolutely MAGNIFICENT and I love it with all my soul and spirit.  Can I express how much I love it?  I love it more than the food it describes, the formidable mangy cat within its pages, and its heroine -  May I be you? Except, you know, without actually being you.

Alex understands, and I declare it now: it is going to be the next Harry Potter and I tell no lies; and their are no wizards!  And it's still amazing.  How is this possible?!

The other one is a little bit of a laugh in my mind.  Being as ingrained in the Harry Potter fandom as I am, Ms. Clare used to be, *cough* a famous fanfiction writer.  Of Harry Potter; or should I say The Draco Trilogy, if that one doesn't make you guffaw like a loon.  And now she's famous...?  I'd be okay with this (to some degree) if she hadn't been accused of plagiarism for her fanfiction.  It's legit too; I've read the reports. I mean, this series has the markings of everything a book shouldn't have:  author avatar, leather pants, the 'Luke, I am your father,' aspect, the fantasy kitchen sink.  And most of all, she named a story she wrote about Ginny and Ron hooking up The Mortal Instruments as well. In case you're not familiar with HP, Ginny and Ron are brother and sister.

So... next Twilight anyone?

Anyway, the beautifully handsome actor in the movie above is wanted for both movies.  Sadly, The Mortal Instruments refuses to march forward without him, and this is a travesty.  He'll stain his name forever.  Don't do it Alex, don't do it.  :(  Go play Peeta and make bread and stuff.  And let me be Katniss so we can kiss in caves.  Mmm, cave kissing.

Did I mention I think he's super hot?  He's also going to be in a Disney movie about the number four or something.  LOOK, he's my new celebrity crush and he will have a place in my heart next to Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans.  No, not that Chris Evans.

These nerds in the UC are killing me, and my internet isn't working in here anymore.  So I'm going to go the library and print stuff and sleep and maybe buy food or something.  May check out a book, may check out a movie, or I may just be.  Perhaps see if Tommy is in the CMC.  I miss Tommy.

Oh, and turns out I need a new radiator.  Dazzling.

-Me

How To, How To, SUCCEED

OMG

If you did not know, Daniel Radcliffe is staring in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying this Spring on Broadway.  It's a nifty little show, and these pictures make me want to see it very bad.  Music and Lyrics by Frank Loesser who also did Guys and Dolls, it doesn't have the best music, but then again I don't really like the music from Guys and Dolls.  I've watched the movie, and I enjoyed it a lot for kind of quirky energy.

BUT, DANIEL RADCLIFFE.  And he's not naked, thank Merlin.

Thou art adorable and MARRY ME Please?

-Me

I do love Orange Soda...

Because Sociology was canceled, and I am going to wait and eat lunch until my lunch break, I am currently in the library, and I feel like expressing my...dorkiness to the world; mkay? Mkay!

This is titled: Why I love stage movement.

Why do I love stage movement? There is really only one reason. I am not particularly good or particularly fond of it. It's not a camaraderie class, or a easy class. It's hard and I have to work to be decent. BUT, I love it. And why?

Because...it has scope for imagination:
Yes, while I am doing all my silly stomping and marching, squats and statues and what not, there is always one thing going on in my mind. Today, it was Mulan.

As we march across the room, to our distinctly asian music, I have one thought running through my mind; I. Am. Mulan. My warriors are all around me, all men, and I'm the secret woman. I have proceeded to sing "I'll Make A Man Out of You," all day today. Complete with warrior march. While I go to class.

As I raise my invisible "spear," it is not a spear to me, but a wand. I raise that wand and imagine my billowy robes. As I do the whole "move like taffy," exercise, I stick my arm in the dueling position, ready to AK* some of Voldemort's posterior.

I raise my hands in front of me; I am Rafiki raising Simba while on pride rock.
When we do sitting statues, I am not just Rachel; I am a super hero, in flying position. And yes, my name is often 'The Feline Avenger.' My cape billows from my neck.

After doing 3 minutes of marching (Yes. 3 minutes. Of solid marching. My thighs are becoming quite hard.) and when I have to arise from the ground, I pretend I am a vampire, a newborn. (sorry, all you vampirelore people out there; twilight sparkly vampires will always be my favourite idea of a vampire.) Or a tigress. Or something even stupider.

When we do our rapier work (yes, me. With a sword. Lord help us all), I pretend as if I am slashing Zombies.

And we do everything to either Asian Techno or Asian Swing or Asian Battle Songs. Give or take; imagine that.

[end of nerdfit.]

I hope everyone is well. I saw Annie and it was quite precious. Jazzy was stupendous. And everyone else was alright. :) And that pencil moustache really suits you; reminds me of something else...

I found a hotpink guitar paperclip in the library. I'm taking it; because it makes my day. One has to find the small things in life to enjoy. Sure life is tough but we just have to count our blessings. I was feeling off yesterday, and I thought, "God, why ever are you not showering me with blessings? I don't understand. I'm a decent Christian; I have a slight potty mouth and I gossip something awful, but I'm trying to fix myself. I love everybody and try to do my best in everything; but why are things not going my way?" But then, I started thinking about it, and things are going my way; slowly but surely. And I am truly blessed; but it's all about patience my friends; patience.

My motto that has been deemed a stupid motto by someone who is even stupider is this:
Pray about everything, worry about nothing, and do your best.

[end of Godspeech.]

Speaking of speeches, I got my grade back from communications on my Zombie Speech (In 3 parts: The Zombie's Prevalence in Pop Culture, The Zombie, and Survival), and I made a 100. Speaking of this, reminds me of something else: I have this whole outlook on life where I will things to go my way. When it involves me at least. I pray, and then I will that I'll do well and... I do. It's fascinating. "It's like magic!"

...I fell like such a freak. More so than usual. :(
I also feel a bit like Pollyanna. "Let's play the glad game..."

Sadly, I do play the glad game. I was talking to Chris the other day and he was complaining about having so many scripts to read and I told him it could be worse; he could be bald. He agreed; that would be worse. We then figured out that he would be bald when he got older; I think it disheartened him a little. And then, after this whole eye surgery deal, I told him it could be worse. And he didn't see how, but I told him he could be blind. And he agreed, it could be worse.

...I'm so infectious. I'm like the happy disease. And I'm using a whole lotta semi-colons (;) for some reason. Pardon me, English teachers as you wriggle in pain.

Actually my happiness is making me vomit a little because it's so out of character. I am usually so... snarky.

So, onward with snark. November 21st, New Moon is arriving to theatres. One of two things is going to happen: I am going to dress like Alice Cullen, the love of my life who I want to be so bad it hurts; and I am going to squeal with girlish delight at the whole experience because I secretly love those books with all my heart that isn't taken up by Harry Potter or Nutella. Which doesn't leave much space, but you know...whatever.

I do like Edward Cullen, I do. I like his broody prissiness. I just don't like the fact that he watches Bella sleep. That's... creepy. That and the fact that he actually goes back and oils her window so he can properly sneak in without making a sound.
Edward: That's creepy.

I do hate Bella though, although, as bad as Kristen Stewart is, I do enjoy her portrayal of Bella. She takes the whine factor down a lot. And I am thankful. I do hope she plays off the whole "Edward's gone," thing better than Bella does in the book. 4 blank pages with nothing but months on them to show the passing of time... please Bella. No boy is worth wallowing in self pity! I haven't done that since...
...
...Let's play the glad game! At least Edward isn't dead!

[Just kidding; the last time I wallowed in self pity wasn't too long ago, (I usually light a candle and listen to Celine Dion and just...lay there. My mother tells me I can be a little dramatic. *sigh* C'est Vrai.) but as for the matter of doing it over a boy, I don't think I've done that since like, the 8th grade.]

But let's talk about High Brow literature: Harry Potter.

Voldemort is. The best. Character. In this world. EVER.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
I am Lord Voldemort. That was always my Harry Potter nickname. Well, technically we called me Lord Voldiepizzle [My gangster Wizard Name; yo.], but still, more or less.

Which brings me to the birthday present I still have to put on my car. Kaley [lovingly] sent me 5 bumper stickers that look like this:
I can't find an adequate picture, but they say "Republicans For Voldemort."

Now, yes, I realize this is supposed to be an anti-republican joke (Oh, you liberals are so witty!), but, once I am both Lord Voldemort and I think Lord Voldemort is the...cats meow, AND I am a God-fearing Republican, it must go on my car. But where to put it? I think it needs to cover up that cheesy one that says "And what difference do you make," that I didn't put on there because it's cheesy. No one will help me take it off though, because they think it's cool. Blegh.

...HARRY POTTER RULES.

So, yeah, that's life. Pretty delicious, I daresay, but busy. I read a lot. And watch A LOT of Disney movies. And Anne of Green Gables. I'm getting in touch with my inner child or something. Whatever.

Speaking of reading, I have one tiny qualm to discuss before I exit. If I, have to read, one more book with a beautiful but unnoticed heroine, who gets the dreamy popular guy and they fall in love within two weeks, and no one notices her but him, and oh, she's so special now, and wait, SHE IS SPECIAL in the way that Jesus was special to her whole entire race and she's going to be the saviour to them all, all while having her dreamy mancake and being gorgeous and unique and interesting, I AM GOING TO BARF. All these cheesy teen books are so cheesy. I've read a few lately because I'm not feeling up to reading the meaty classics I usually read, but heck, I'm dragging those bad boys out. I cannot take another selfless and gorgeous heroine. I can't. I can't do it guys.

WHY CAN'T A HEROINE BE FAT AND UGLY UNIQUE. I feel like I'm ugly, (I've already figured this one out; it's good to be ugly [in fact I favour being ugly] because then people like you for you and not for your looks. America is obsessed with looks; it's good too be liked for more.)or at least not ubber attractive by normal standards, and I'm unique and interesting. AUTHORS, QUIT MAKING YOUR HEROINE'S BEAUTIFUL. I'M TIRED.

Thank you Jane Eyre. For simply existing.

(sidenote: WHY IS THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME NOT A BROADWAY MUSICAL [besides in Germany.] I WANT TO KNOW.)

I'm going to go get lunch now. G'dbye.

-Me.

Pee.Ess.
GUYS I THINK I'M PSYCHIC. NO SERIOUSLY. I had a dream last night that my mom worked for Sesame Street and she had kept Elmo, Grover and Oscar the Grouch and they were in my closet. I don't know why I dreamed this because there was honestly no catalyst.

THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS SESAME STREETS 40TH ANNIVERSARY. THIS MORNING.

I. Have. A. GIFT.


*Avada Kedavra: The Killing Curse. DUH.

To Be A Cantalope

NO
If Miley Cyrus gets Ariel Moore I will vomit all over the reel and request that they do it over.
No. No. No.

Regarding Twilight:
HEYS LOOK YOU GUYS A NEW POSTER
I love how Bells is all up in Jacob's space. And Edward like, cries a tear. Well technically no, because vampires can't cry, but he I suppose he can dry sob or whatever.
Oh and Breaking Dawn has been confirmed as a movie, so the whole, Cesarean-by-fangs thing is gonna go great. I can see it now...



On the Harry Potter front, news is lame. There is a whole lotta new clips and scenes being leaked from the new movie, but I usually avoid them like the plague. Why you may ask? Well, you take a movie you were looking forward to like everything, you watch all the clips and scenes and when you go to the theatre you already know the whole movie and it's all so spoiled for you. With something like Harry, spoiling it is the last thing I want.

I love you Harry.

As well as this, this is the only other news available on Potterfront:
THEY BOUGHT FURNITURE? FOR THE SET?

Even I have now hit a point where I don't care. We should set up a news site for whenever we buy set stuff. "Today Effie picked up carpet remnants; I wonder where that will go." "Scotty purchased some paint and a set of three hangers. This is important news."

Harry Potter fans: if this is the sort of news you cling to... shame.

...I love you Harry.

In other, other, other news, I have my Peter Pan review finished. All I lack is the videos to upload and then, I shall jumpstart that magic into this world.
Then I have to do Beauty and the Beast.
Hee, B&B was pure, pure joy to my heart.

Onward to AIDA:
So, tonight is Strongest Suit night, so needless to say I brought in the reinforcements (i.e. water, sweatable clothes, etc.) I just want to have a light up dress of light up robot goodness. And to dance. My passion is dancing.

I'm a slave too. And Nikki is my slavely mother. I feel like she's our mother at least. She's our princess/mother. I love you Nikki.

Scotty got us little notebooks last rehearsal. And I was in heaven. I love goodies. Goodiess... I have big goodies in store. :)

I've been working on my script for the past, well, forever, and by the time I get it done I probably won't have to use it any more but whatever, do what you must. It's been fun. We should have Script Parties! To fold and cut and mend... and whatever, I like it.

And I bought Sidewalk Chalk. To advertise. Shut up, I like advertising.

End of AIDA.

So, I must say adieu my friends because I'm tired of looking at this blog entry. Gday.

-Me

Pee.Ess. Come to The Rachel Show Project T tomorrow night at 7:30 in the FAC. I'm emceeing/rapping/dancing/making a fool out of myself/etc. Entry is articles of clothing and/or donations that go to El Salvador. But don't come because of El Salvador (because, who cares? I don't.), come to see meee...

Nothing says "I'm protesting my typecast" like a naked romp on stage.

In news not directly related to me:

Spring Awakening is being made into a movie
I'm kind of, sort of, not really fond of this musical. Music: good. Theme: bad bad baddy bad. It's like a gigantic teenage angst drama set in ancient Germany or something. All the same, we all know I'll be at the theater.

After all, not much can be worse than Mamma Mia!

Zac Efron: NO MORE FOOTLOOSE D:
WHAT? You and Daniel Radcliff wanting to create a new image for yourself. *sigh* Silly Zaquisha, do you not know that you are forever indebted to HSM? It created you. And I say much of the same thing to you DanRad. You are forever Harry Potter (at least in my mind...)

Speaking of Zac and Daniel parallels:
Pants off to gratious nudity!

Everyone is prepping up for Aida as of right now on the Overlook side of things. All us teenagers (hold on a second; I'm 18. I'm an adult. *snort*) are going crazy. I've [almost] got the audition dance down pat, except for the rhythm (Rhythm!? What is this rhythm you speak of?!) but, at least I have the moves down... right? Anyhoo, I can hardly wait and, with my almost official job at the Dessert Factory this summer I can just shimmy on over to the SMACPAC and party with buttons and what not. YEAH!

And today as I went into the scene shop Luther and some guy took time out of class to play us a concert with a harmonica and a fiddle respectively. They were both good, but I couldn't help but reflect on the randomness of it all. I mean, who does that?

Besides Uncle Scotty, the piano, and his Broadway/Disney songs and my singing "Memory" at the top of my lungs. But we hardly count as odd.

In other, other, other news, I won't be seeing any of you for 2 whole weeks much. Working tech for "Almost Maine" here at WCU for practicum hours. Happy? No. But the actors were loving enough: they all got us a bottle of Sunpop. Small cast; they seem weird enough. As for skill, not too bad. There were parts where I should have been laughing/crying and I did neither throughout the whole production, but hey, whatever, they're not bad. It's a cute play in general although I'm not sure if it's something I'm going to like watching as many times as I'll have to. Although rehearsals are from 6:30 to about 9:30 and by the time I get home it's 10, so technically, I now live at Western. Fortunately Jenny shall sacrifice her dorm services when necessary and I am pleased for this. Besides these times I have to be there around 12:00 on Sundays, so you know what that means: no church. Miffed? Yes. Does that matter. No.

And I have to dress in stupid winter clothes. To move things backstage. So take the amount I sweat now and multiply it by 10,000. It may not be snowing on stage, but it definantly will be raining.

Anyway, they should probably be dressed warmer because, technically it's Maine (hm, how about that!) and it would be sort of cool for them to have a snow machine but I'm not judging, I'm not, I swear.



...whatever. Judge for yourself.

ANDD GUESSS WHATTT?
And here's an explanation. SO THIS IS ESSENTIALLY LIKE CHRISTMAS COMING EARLY.
I really should buy me another Harry Potter shirt. All mine are like, from the fourth movie and from a time when shorter shirts were in. And I need longer shirts because I have a huge torso.... sooo...

HARRY POTTER IS COMING OUT JULY 15TH AH.
So many preparations.

Speaking of which, if everyone remembers my previous audio problems in my car (lack of iPod adapter, Linda Ronstadt, etc.) I am delighted to say I have found a temporary answer to this problem of nothing to listen to by checking out Half Blood Prince on audio tape.

Jim Dale (who was from Barnum. Which is the worst Broadway. Ever.) does the voices and its... concerning? Yeah, I'll go with that. Because:

1. Bellatrix and Narcissa sound Italian, for, some, reason.
2. Dumbledore sounds like he's going to die any minute (Hm, how ironic!)
3. It is so hilarious to hear Jim Dale trying to do female voices. He has a great narrator voice, but gee, to here him try to get all high pitch like Hermione with the I failed everything flail is made of fail all on it's own. And Ginny sounds like a man. But I hate Ginny so it's okay.
4. Snape sounds like a chain smoker. And less malicious and more drawing. For some reason I imagine him sitting in a high back chaired and stroking a cat. And wearing a turban. I dunno. Which reminds me of Draco. Who reminds me of... I don't know what, it's just bad.
5. Just a side note: Voldemort is probably the dweebiest villain ever. "LETS SMASH SOME BRIDGES! THAT'S EVIL, RIGHT?! YEAH!" I mean, who does that?
6. And I had to stop the tape when I heard Jim Dale's Fleur voice. I died.
7. Lastly, Tonks sounds way too perky.
8. Never mind, this is lastly: How we are first introduced to Harry.

Whatever, I'm done.

-Me

Heavenly Aida, mystical garland of light and flowers...?

Some "while I wait for mom to come out of the grocery store" musings:

Sevy looks so nice since I have cleaned him out. I vacuumed and everything. He's very appreciative; I can tell by his hum.

It's not a pleasant sort of felling when you go to wipe Subway sandwich off your mouth, when suddenly you realize the napkin has a different texture. You then realize that you happened to puck up the blackened dirt rag you had forgotten to take out when you cleaned your car.

What's even worse than this, perhaps, is when your adapter for your iPod is tore up and you're stuck choosing from the collection of cassettes the former owner of Sevy gave you because she didn't want them. The choices? Van Morrison, Lynda Ronstadt, Paul Simon and Beethoven. I went with Lynda and sort of regret it.

Sort of.

But it fun to go around all of Franklin in this beautiful weather blaring Beethoven. Alas, the looks you get.

For something completely unrelated, I have a 12 page paper due in English at the end of the semester. For some odd reason the idea of Harry Potter and Morality wasn't "sophisticated" enough, although Tolkien and his Elfin Language and Dr. Seuss' Political Messages are. Huh. She even bothered to ask me "Who cares?"

I care. Theology majors care. English majors care. Harry Potter fans care. Concerned Christian parents care. Crazy book burning Christian parents care. Other parents care. Everyone cares. I mean, they've written tons of books on this subject; I can't see how it isn't important.

But this didn't suit her. She wanted something that would be beneficial to my future. So she asked my my major was and my future job plans. I told her Drama Teacher/Heir/Dictator, etc. and she said "perfect." So now, I get to do something about a play.

Still not that bad.

So, I'm doing Aida. Taking the opera opera and the new musical and analyzing and comparing, hidden meanings, the story, etc. etc. Whatever. Checked out the opera, and *snort* it's great.

This would be Radames:
...bwahahahahahahahha.
Well, at least we know someone won't have to go to the gym to get ready for the show. Not that he would anyway...

Here are some of this hilarious lyrics:

And here is Amneris, looking like something from a Cher concert:

And this is sort of as far as I've got. So like, within 12 minutes or something.
It's not very exciting.
Imagine.

Anyhoo, the report should be interesting, even though it's next to impossible to find any scholarly books on the musical version of Aida. I'll Amazon it or something, but I'm really suffering here.

On some other notes, Harry Potter news sites are reaaallly suffering. The news consits of "J.K. Rowling resigns from MS Society Scotland." And I say, who cares? I would rather them post nothing but things I care about like new books, or movie stills, or the *squee* theme park. But this? I care not.

But I despise J.K. Rowling. I know, it makes no sense. Whatever.

And my mother just ate some 2002 expired oatmeal. It clumped up and after the first few bites she stopped and said it tasted odd. We're kind of hoping it had weevils in it. "Yummy yummy, I've got weevils in my tummy," is an exact quote.

*sigh*

-Me

Pee.Ess. JACKPOT!

I have a case of tavern beaver.

*note: If the pictures are poor looking to you, I apologize for I couldn't useflash. If the videos shake, I don't apologize for laughter cannot be helped.
I also apoliogize for the snark and the fact that this is one very large review. Seriously, it took me three days.

It's that time of the year again: high school spring musical festivals. Thus equaling confidence boosts and a guide at what not to do in the theatre. What flabbergasts me most is people actually think of these as good productions. I go outside and I hear "we should do ours like that." I don't know if its just a partiality issue or they really think its that good. Of course, I'm a little critical...

After the joy that Smokey's Cinderella brought me and seeing the large red and yellow billboard advertising it, I decided to go to Swain's Beauty and the Beast. Scotty, Effie, Kelly and I all piled in the Eclipse and headed out, getting Burger King along the way, sort of missing the road off the exit (my fault) and finally arriving at 6:45. Of course, I started laughing before I got through the door but I contained myself, got my ticket and program and sat down.

Program Notes: A very sophisticated program (oddly, the most impressive thing about these shows is the program) with a large asterisk next to the title and a suspicious footnote assuring us that they were legal. On the back they discussed how they were the only school in the Smokey Mountain conference area that did a Spring Musical (because I haven't been in one for the past 3 years...?) and how the production cost $8,000 dollars.
...
Probably went to all those billboards because it defiantly didn't go to the production.

Anyhoo, they were also audience goodies in the form of light up roses that you raise at the same moment that Belle does at the end and she lifts it and you lift it and you can be like Belle...?

First thought: This is going to suck. Badly.

Act I


So here we start with the basic Beauty and the Beast beginning with the "Once upon a time, selfish and spoiled prince, ugly hag, take the rose, ugly hag I sneer at you, I is a beautiful enchantress, OH NOES, I beastify you, Noooo, etc, etc." Except, as everyone else is used to the deep voiced, slightly creepy guy, the guy who did it had more a game show feel about his voice. "Who would ever looove a BEAAST!?!"

Blegh. Anywho, the hag drops her cloak to show a beautiful enchantress bedazzled in an 80s prom dress (honestly, you should have seen those sleeves!) and she flits around, casts the spell on him and frolics off. Frolics mind you, and not at all in a foreboding manner. As Bob Barker says "And she turned him into a hideous beast," the enchantress enchants, the prince collapses to the floor in despair and... nothing happens. But they spoil us early and show the beast in his castle admiring his caramelized human heart rose and feeling distraught and pained, etc.

Lets skip forward to the classic village scene. Firstly, for some reason, they used a lot of the people who play main characters in the castle (i.e. Mrs. Potts) as villagers as well. Because I guess they didn't have a good enough part or something...


Anyway, it starts with the stagehands coming on while everyone else is coming out and placing benches on either side of the room and then going back into the prop closet to chill or something. Belle starts singing and... we have no idea where she is. Turns out she is in the back of the audience.

Yeah, that's effective.

Finally she shows up halfway through the song, walks past us in her dress bedazzled with a teacup fabric and she sings, the villagers sing:


And everyone looks onward with faces of apathy:

And that little girl sitz in the orchestra pit the whole time among the seats in there. While the play was going on. Adding to that, the backstage mothers kept coming out by the side doors to watch some then they went backstage and then we see them again and *cough*unprofessional*cough*.

Enter Maurice with his frosted peach fuzz moustache and girlish tricorn!:



And your machine...? Right?
The funny thing about this was that he picks up a piece of wood spins the wheel with his bare hand, puts the thing above the blade and drops the outer piece. "OH IT WORKS!" It's sort of like, "Oh Fairy Godmother, look at the pumpkin carriage!" But we never actually see it. I call this the "you couldn't think of anything creative, could you?" moment.


That squawking? Yeah, that was a clarinet.
The band was terrible but I give them kudos for trying. I mean, how good can you be when your band director reads a book during the scenes that the band isn't playing in? Of course, I would probably be doing the exact thing.

So, Maurice takes his invention and goes into the Scrim Forest and the girls in black with the plastic wolf masks go after him and he runs and ends up at a mysterious castle:



They also [lovingly] placed a painted statue of my cat above the cheesy painted fireplace:



...and we meet the rest of the cast. ROLL CALL:



Lumiare: The tall skinny candelabra with the weird French accent. And for some entirely unknown reason I think he reminds me of Jonathan. No idea why...
Cogsworth: The fat clock who has a weird french/English/country accent. He was hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
Babbett: The girl who doesn't look like a feather duster but more like a girl bedecked in feathers. Mrs. Potts: The tea pot who has hooker lipstick and looks like she was made out of a couch.
Chip: CHIP HAS LEGS, CHIP HAS LEGS!!

And last, but not least:



THE BEAST: The dreadlocked creature who sounds like Christian Bale when he's pretending to be Batman. He also has an angty teenager thing going and I am vaguely reminded of Napoleon Dynamite. See he even has that whole "gosh," thing going on.
And those horns!

"Mamma I think I scared him." Because a life sized teacup with legs isn't in the least bit scary.
*facepalm*
So, after a Beastfit, Maurice suffers but lets go back to Belle...

Wait one second! We haven't met Gaston! You know, Gaston the hot, fit guy everyone wants to date with an elevated ego? Oh, do I have a treat for you!


So, I think it's safe to say that they didn't typecast.

Anyway, Gaston fails, Belle notices her father is gone, goes through the scrim forest mysterious castle, etc. For some odd reason there are moving gargoyles:



God bless them gargoyles. Their mommas love 'em.
...by this point, I think people were looking at me as I made a scene.

Moody dreadlocked Batman Beast enters and pitches another Beastfit:


Belle goes up to her room and laments at her misfortune and whoa is me. Frankly, I just like the fact that the wardrobe girl keeps her face completely stoic the whole time. Secondly, I love the fact that she goes "I'm sure I have something you could wear" opens her doors and out just falls a dress... it's not in the drawer and its just wadded up and falls out...? How convenient.



Flash forward to le tavern scene:

May I introduce the chair that wasn't painstakingly constructed from limbs by Effie:
The random wall of deer heads and drag queens boys with blue eyeshadow and maroon lipstick:
Tavern Mugs constructed from dogfood cans and handles that were hotglued on:

The guy who stuffed his pants into his socks and his Sperrys:

Oh and there is something else that is amazing about this scene, but it will have to wait until later.

Le Tavern Scene est over, and we go back to La Castle and Beastie throws yet another Beastfit but Belle refuses him and says she'll starve but, hey rules were meant to be broken, so Lumiare and the Cowboy Candles serve her. Nothing says "you're welcome" like a single plastic Turkey:




"Try the grey stuff..."
What grey stuff? Is it in the plastic turkey or around it? Or under it?

This is the Rug of Fail:


He and his be-tennis-shoed feet tried to flip, they really did try. But they failed, sighed and went off to the side in disgust/apathy.



I post this simply because the gargoyles started dancing. At this point I hunched onto the ground in laughter and Kelly had to dig her nails in me to silence my giggles.
I died. Died.

Back to moody, dreadlocked beast and we see his girl side in low and awful dulcet tones:

And Act I is finished! Onward to:
ACT II.

Lights up... to this:

It's okay though. When you're 60 years old its hard to stay awake. We'll forgive her.
To be honest, Intermission was the most enjoyable thing out of the whole play. We guffawed like crazy and people were probably highly insulted. But hey, if you suck you suck and we're sure to remind you of it. As Scotty put it, Intermission was like a glass of cool water on a hot day.

ACT II

We start with Belle in the Scrim Forest and the girls with the wolf masks come out and the Beast comes to defend but it all happens behind the Scrim Trees so technically, we see none of it.
Something There begins and our dreadlocked Beast pecks at his soup, Belle refines him, she bedecks herself in a hideous 80s dress as well and they go into the library and share sweet, sweet moment and you can just taste the "teen spirit."

Somewhere around here Beast and Lumiare go up the stairs the carpentry class [lovingly] made and offstage while their microphones were still on and someone says "stay in character."

Hows that for embarrassing?

Human again happens but it was so anti-climatic I don't see any importance in discussing it.
As was for the tavern scene except for this one part that we shall see later. :)

So lets just step forward to the scene we all care about:
The big date scene between Belle and the Beastie:

As you can see, Belle has what every high school puts their princess in: a prom dress. I swear, creativity is dead.

The table is set yet again with a plastic turkey for them to share:


Plastic turkeys are recylcable apparently.

Instead of eating they just stare at their plates...

...and once the plastic turkey isn't going to be edible anytime soon they decide to dance and we get a looksee at the beasts very large and awkward tail:


So Belle and the Beast go into the Garden and talk about life or something; I wasn't really paying attention. *shrugs* So the beast and Belle have moments and then Belle laments about not being able to see her poorly moustached daddy and the beasts hands her a mirror made out of plywood and lights and she sees hes ill or something and wants to leave to help him. Beastie lets her go, but sort of sulks about the whole matter and the utensils of the house are like "YOU DID WHAT!?"

And the Beast says, "Leave me alone for my soul is like fragile fragile lilly now." As he laments we all feel a little deja vu from Cinderella with the whole "lets sing in front of the curtain while the scene changes, yeah, that's cool."

So, at this point, nothing was really happening, I had about a minute and a half worth of memory and half of my battery power left and what I really wanted to film was the transformation scene. So, I sat back and *cough* enjoyed the rest of the performance. The funny thing was, that during the mob scene everyone tramples into the audience and their bodies are like 2 inches away from me, and I die again guys. Because when the meaty girl in front of you is squawking, what else can you do?

So, yadda, yadda, big fight or whatever over Belle, Gaston falls over the edge, which might be cool if it wasn't 5 feet from the ground, and perhaps, hey it may be cool if WE COULD SEE IT. i.e. Don't stage the big climatic stuff in front of a railing.

*facepalm*

So, here it is. Marilla is turned on, and with her small battery power and one minute left I start filming. This is what we wait for. The Transformation is the biggest and coolest, not to mention the most high tech, scene there is:

Guys, I had to stop filming because Belle wandered the stage for over a minute while the Beast changes. You see her pick up the rose near the end, but I stopped it because it was going nowhere. The best thing is to look back and see all the old women holding there's with the most tranquil face in the world. Like, "this is my slice of heaven."

So the Beast come out from SR and it's all "lookie Belle its me," and Belle is like "it is you." Everyone is human again, Belle and the Beast (without shoes?) come out and sing the ending along with the stereotypical shifting crowd of happiness.

Reader, I hurled.

BUT, but, but, there was one part that did make it into my top ten of life moments. This was the moment of great in this show:

For some odd reason, they strategically placed a stuffed beaver on the bar. Why? I don't know. But it was made of epic win. He was by far the best actor (he never blinked, not once I tell you) and will forever be known as the Spaghetti cat of the theatre.

To rebound from the pain we all had choclate shakes and laughed so hard it hurt in the car. Guys, this was worse than Cinderella. (Hm, theres something I never thought I would say) The sets were terriable, the costumes, the actors, the singing, heck the whole thing. The only thing I liked was the programs and the tavren beaver.

And you know whats sad? They did this same show last year and it was such a hit (you heard me right) that they wanted to redo it to make it better. Can you only imagine what it was like?

If you want to witness this you still have a chance for on March 27 - March 29 2009 it is till playing at 7:00, but I wouldn't suggest it. I give you the cliff notes graciously and accept them as such.

My brain hurts. Gooday.
-Me

Think of Rachel, Think of Rachel, Think of Rachel, Think of Rachel

I believe that Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be the days magic is made. I don't have to get dressed up in stiff pants, I only have Acting that day (which is fun), then I get to play at the FAC with buttons and, well mostly buttons, and then I have play practice. This is what magic is made of.

We had practice last night, and, WHOA, what a bunch of people. So very many. It's hard to maneuver around them, but alas, we all shall manage. The dance vaguely remind me of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown with the sort of marches and the bobbing up and down (I miss you Jessup. :( Come back and make me keep time.), and the whole on the knee, hands out thing. I remember also doing the invisible lasso in Seuss on the Loose and I love it all. I had a fabulous time last night. I love dancing and the dance is extremely fun... even if everywhere you walk someone smells. I'm gonna say it now: Water and soap should be apart of your family. And deodorant should be your best friend. And if the latter is not? Then the dermatologist who gives you medicine for the issue should be your best friend, hence why I love Dr. Singleton.

Speaking of water: ours is frozen. I had to take a bath up at Aunt Carolyn's today and it was... annoying. Aunt Carolyn's tub was very nice though, and it takes a lot for me to like someone else's bath tub. You know how most people hate sleeping in a bed besides their own? Well, I hate taking a bath in someone else's tub. Even though, compared to the cast iron thing I have to use, anything is nice I suppose. Cast iron isn't comfortable in the least, but I do suppose it exfoliates. I got permeant marker on it the other day because I had drawn Harry Potter characters on my toes and they rubbed off on the tub. Luckily mom hasn't noticed these blue streaks. Oh Harry, how could you?

Speaking of Harry:
NOOOOOOO!

Daniel, keep your naked trap shut. The only possible significance you serve to the Harry Potter series is playing Harry Potter, and THAT IS ALL THE BLESSING YOU HAVE. Shut up, Mr. "I dun wanna be known as Harry Potter." As someone who is now some big nuddy star on Broadway you should be ecstatic on the possibility of a MUSICAL. A HARRY POTTER MUSICAL. You're just afraid they will pick you to play the part and once you want to break apart from the HP image, you are labeling the thought as a big no-no. I hate you.

Lord of the Rings can make a sucky musical, why can't Harry Potter? Besides, I was really looking forward to a soul-spliting dance montage fearturing Voldemort belting about Horcurxes in a force that makes you get goose bumps and sounds sort of like "I Need To Know" from Jekyll and Hyde. [Hm, I wish I had that CD, hm...]

Except even creepier. Mahh.

-creepyvoldemortme

FREEEEEDOOOOOMMM

Hence, my exams are done.

Things I've Been Meaning To Write About But Haven't

NEW HARRY POTTER TRAILER.  STILL IN AWE.

TWILIGHT TODAY (OMG.)

Speaking of Twilight, I am so, so, so, so, so, SO excited.  Kelly and I are going today at 4:30; dressing up of course.  Then we will probably eat and possible see it at 9 tonight.  SO, SO, SO excited.  I just hope it's up to my expectations.  And I hope Bella is ten times more cooler than, well, Bella.  I HATE THE LEAD CHARACTER... does that make sense?

And I have such a girlcrush on Alice it's ridiculous.  WHY IS SHE SO AWESOME?!  D:
Why can't I be that awesome?  :(

ADAM PASCAL:
Guess what, I met him.  I saw him in the flesh.  My first thought?  Whoa, he's freaky skinny.  I mean tiny.  But he sang to me, and the when he actually sang the songs I recognized I was in heaven.  I'm pretty sure he looked at me several times, but once I had my mouth agape and was probably drooling slightly in awe he never lingered.  After he left the stage we made such an uproar and he came and did a song he wrote for his wife.  But I was going to be miffed if he hadn't sang 'One Song Glory' so he read my mind and DID.  And a little bit of me died in happiness.

Afterwards he came out to do autographs.  And he was so...tan?  Like really tan.  So I went up there, and the guy before me made an idiot of himself ("this is the best show ever.  EVER.  Use my silver Sharpie.  Okay, sign the CD too.  BEST SHOW EVER.") so I didn't feel so bad when I got my program signed and a picture.

I also refuse to look at the picture because my mom's first response when she looked at it was "Gash, Rachel." and was then followed by laughing.  So I presume I looked pretty retarded.  She told me I just looked really, really, really excited and she would look the same way if Tom Selick walked through the door.  And I reckon I would too.

We then tried to imagine what I would look like next to Daniel Radcliff.  We couldn't.

And I figured out what the wheat field battle is all about.  Since the whole sixth book is nothing but:  FLASHBACK, stalk Malfoy, FLASHBACK, stalk Malfoy, FLASHBACK, omg no.  And once that essentially doesn't make any action, they decided, hey lets have the DE attack the Burrow's wheat fields.

To say I have no idea doesn't cover it.

HSM 3... how I have said nothing about ye!  

First off:  Um, hey, I doubt it was Nikki who really wanted the soundtrack.  And I doubt it was Nikki who really  just had to see the movie on opening night.  I'm just saying, Nikki's just a little too cool for that.  After all she was the one sitting in the back while someone said "this is the best show ever.  EVER.  Use my silver Sharpie.  Okay, sign the CD too.  BEST SHOW EVER."  I'm just saying, that's all.

Anyway, it was very, very, very good.  Forever and ever, I will hate the idea of Troy and Gabriella together.  I just hate her.  And her dresses were too short.  Literally.

Just imagine this dress with a lot more twilling.  And he's holding her like she has cooties or something.

AND WAY TO RUIN YOUR PROM JACKET.  OH WAIT IT DOESNT' MATTER BECAUSE YOU DON'T GO TO PROM.

*sob* I can't come back. *sob*

Stupid.

Anywho, the plot was a little... lacking.  Go figure.  But the DANCING WAS FABULOUS.  What I loved was the scenes they did on stage, because their sets actually looked pretty cool compared to HSM 1.  And to be honest, no none of them CAN in fact sing.  Zacquisha can, but his constipated look kind of ruins it.  And Ryan can also (As long as you don't wear gay matching hats, I won't judge.)  But everyone else?  Blargh.  Especially Gabriella.

And the end almost mad me cry because I just went through all that junk.  And they wear red and white?  What...

And Sharpie's pants in that last scene.  Yuck.  Just, yuck.  Hot pink pleather?  I stopped wearing pants like that in, like the 5th grade.

Go with a nice cerulean or a pleasant plum.

-Me

Mission: Rescue the Whos.

I'm pretty sure I just broke my nose.  Okay not really, but it hurts like everything.  And it's crooked, but it's always been crooked.  Sort of.  Originally it wasn't, but recently I got to looking at it and it is crooked?  Okay, whatever.

Speaking of noses, I know someone who doesn't have one:

I was watching the Half-Blood Prince trailer frame by frame, and turns out there was a flash of this hotness.  I thought it was mildly creepy, but awesome at the same time because it's these Voldmort moments that remind me of my Voldmeort.  Very cruel, slightly cynical, but mostly crazy.

So today I have to stay after school until... well, when ever Othello starts.  How is this for bad advertising; the flyer they pass around and post up at school doesn't even have the time of the show.  Stupid.

So, Othello.  Well, the cast made a little trailer to advertise their cause.  They showed in class for us to, well, judge.  And even though I was the only one in my class doing so, I laughed my head off.  I'm pretty sure that wasn't the point, but something about it struck me funny.  The cheesy action music and the aviators and everything... pure magic.  I don't know though;  I have a really weird sense of humor:

>

Yeah, it's just me isn't it?  Perhaps we should make trailers with cheesy action music next time we do a play.  Like Mission: Imposible meets Seussical.  Horton sliding on his stomac, looking for the Whos, machine gunning Vlad as he comes in for the kill...

Okay, I'm a nerd.

So get this, Fiddler on the Roof practices are from 7 to 11 EVERY NIGHT.  Yikes!  Not that I would mind being in rehearsals that long, but when I finally got home from Western.  Oo, I shudder at the thought.  Cheers to you, Seussical and you're lovely 7 to 9.  Cheers.

...1 more day till ADAM PASCAL.

...8 more days till Twilight.

...21 until Harry Potter Book.

...and 246 till Half-Blood Prince.

-Me.