So, why are you carrying a trapper keeper?

Okay, so whatever, I'm supposed to be doing dialects homework on Southern Accents, but I don't feel like it right now, and I'll do it soon; besides, I have a plethora of stuff to discuss.

Firstly: Auditions.

Saturday, I had auditions. For the theatre company thing at WCU. So, I had picked out 2 monologues, had learned them, refined them, did them in front of the Anne Frank cast, reworked them entirely after said experience, and I felt good. Not good enough to get in; but good.

So, I picked my outfit out, prepared myself in every way possible, updated my resume, took a new headshot:



This is what you want a piece of, but can't have, loverssss.

Anyhoo, so I'm ready, and I go to said auditions. I get there an hour early, sign up to be fourth to get it over with and then go into the design lab to wait. Now, this is usually the part where I get super nervous and begin shaking; similar to that You're A Good Man Charlie Brown audition in the 9th grade. A brief recap:

I had never auditioned for singing before; terrified, I shuffle into the room. Mrs. Brooks is on the piano; Huck next to her. They sing something simple; something patriotic, but I do not remember because I was in shambles. He started singing the theme to the show. I muttered along with him. I was white as a sheet and they literally, literally asked me if I needed to go to the hospital.

This is how my nerves are my enemy.

Something similar happened at my other audition; nerves got the better of me, and it was a disaster. This was the one where all I got was "...so. You've got nice stage presence...?"

So, in preparation for this, I brought my Bible. So basically; while everyone is pacing the room and the hallways, making weird guttural noises, nervously chattering among their friends, I'm busy sitting there reading my Bible. But, I will say that I was as calm as a leaf, and I knew, regardless, that Jesus was with me. I felt as if I had some hidden secret; something very many people lack.

So, they call me "on deck," which is where you wait outside the audition hall for your turn. I sit there, everyone else on deck paces, and I chit chat with the stage hand. Don't think I didn't have focus; I just felt overwhelmingly calm.

I went in, and I felt good. My three judges were friendly. I knew, in my heart, that I didn't really know what they wanted; but I knew what I knew, so I did the best I could. (which was all I asked for; It didn't feel right to ask to get in.)

After both my monologues, Peter asked me to redo part of my first one with a clear objective of desperation in mind. As I have previously stated, objectives are often foggy with me, but he was clear, and I was grateful. He told me I had focused too much on character, and not enough on said objective; which I agreed, because I'm horrible at objectives. I made choices; he was glad. We just needed to break my "musical theatre acting mode" which, is not necessarily a bad thing.

So, I did the monologue, and if I can say so, I did it very, very well. I got a laugh from DV for said monologue, and oh I rejoiced. DV then told me all about how I had evolved from Acting 1, and he could tell I had really worked on being less energetic and more natural. I was "on the right path" and had "improved leaps and bounds."

They didn't say anything about my Anne Frank monologue; which, I take it, meant it was wonderful. (And I did it the way I had learned it in rehearsals; Scotty for the win.)

Afterwards, I felt accomplished. I didn't feel as if I had gotten in; but I was happy with my feedback, grateful I could actually do it and not be scared, and blessed to know I was moving forward.

Saying all this, I got on the tech crew...

:(

Initially, I was upset. But, I began to count my blessings, and I realized that I am on the plus side of this situation. First off, I have God, which is more than can be said for a lot of them poor theatre kids. And although they are winning the parts now, I have the ultimate prize. How can anyone be remotely upset with that in mind?

As I told Chris, "When God closes a door, he opens a window." I know it's cliche, but I believe it.

Regardless, I still obtained the part of Anne in The Diary of Anne Frank so, at the end of the day, a few scenes in Niggli are nothing compared to playing the title character in a 1500 seat theatre. So, at the end of the day, who has come out on top? Inevitably, I am blessed. Thank you God, Thank you Scotty.

Speaking of Chris, he is in said company. He's in Peter's play Romantic Fools and plays, a caveman and a wedding planner. On hearing this, we had the following conversation:

Chris: I'm the caveman. (beat)

Me: Well that's good; good character role.

Chris: Yes, but Tim has already done it. When I went to the callbacks, they told me to do it exactly like how he did it. So I did. So, inevitably, it isn't even my character, but someone else's with a few minor changes.

Me: Well... at least you look like a Neanderthal.

Chris: If you say that again, I'm going to club you in the face.

Me: This coming from the guy who tells me at least twice a day that I have the most beautiful mustache? And why are you carrying a trapper keeper?

Chris: IT ISN'T A TRAPPER KEEPER! IT'S A HOLDER FOR MY HEADSHOTS! DO I LOOK LIKE I'M IN THE FIFTH GRADE? WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!

Of course from there, it went with the usual bickering: "Why are you a jerk, it's because you're so stupid, shut up, no you shut up, NO YOU SHUT UP, your mom told me to shut up last night, etc."

According to Mr. Negative, the whole system was flawed. The only reason he's in is because he's a favourite, and this is the reason lots of good people didn't get in is because of this. He's disappointed because these good people did not get in, he's mad because someone else got all 'his' roles, etc. etc. I can tell he's down; I can't imagine why, but I have a feeling it has something to do with keeping unrealistic expectations for too long and reality is looming it's ugly face. Either that or the spandex he wore the class earlier has made him irritable.

I'll be writing more later, but for the time being I have dialects, dialects, dialects and I have forgotten entirely how to score vowels. D: Which requires a dazzling amount of extra research, including reviewing voice and articulation again. Yuck.

Besides, this blog ended up being much too long, and went from a weird narrative, to immensely sentimental, to being full of aggravation. I leave you for now.

-Me

Bicycle Shorts

Have you ever reached a point where you're so tired that you're unaware that your tired, but then your realize, "hey, I'm tired."

Well, that's me. I am exhausted. Dance classes every day (my body is old, ya'll), rehearsal every night, theater functions that require me to mingle with people, etc. But, regardless of all of this, I am very, very, very happy. Can I explain the great parts of my days to you? Well, I'm going to anyway.

Yesterday, the theatre department had a cook out. I went and ate a hotdog, although I hate hotdogs. It was very fun, and I felt my 2 years of awkwardness slowly vanish. I found myself talking to people, and driving people, and talking. And eating with people and talking, and dear me, it was amazing. I'm amazed in the strength I can have when I have a little faith.

Regardless, today was more fun.

I get in class today at 8. It's design. Susan has us take our headshots and cut them up. I cut off my double chin, because the only headshot I could find was from my freshman year, when I had a double chin. (You know, the infamous fridge picture). I was fat then.

I also wore colourful eyeshadow.

Today, in jazz, was the treat. I'm already better at what we learned Tuesday, which shows me that I am a fast learner, just not a fast executioner. But, the funny part came when the boys were told that they HAD to wear tights or bicycle shorts and a dance belt. And although I don't know what a dance belt looks like, I know what it is used for. Infer for yourself.

Anyhoo, I was siting stretching, when out Chris comes in a pair of spandex bicycle shorts. I went up to him and laughed at him for a solid minute. He promptly sat down and hid everything. I laughed a little more. Then I told him he didn't look so bad because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and I could tell he was self-conscious. And he really didn't look that bad, just ridiculous.

It wasn't so bad from behind. *shrug* I also told him this so he would feel better about himself. If it had the desired affect is debatable, but judging from my basic intuition, it did.

Apparently he was cornered by the teacher for wearing his standard, modest bottoms. So, you do what you have to do, I suppose.

After dancing (me being pulled out again for lack of coordination), Chris (sans shorts), me, and one of Chris' friends, Volpi, went walking and we stopped by my old acting teachers office. You remember, DV. Chris is basically in love with him, and DV shares a similar fondness for Chris. For some reason, everyone loves Chris, making it their personal goal to befriend him. It's sad really, because very few people know what a true jerk he is.

Anyhoo, we all went in the office and I sat down and sat in the corner, and DV was fabulously kind to me, and he asked what I had been doing, and I was very excited because I think he may be starting to like me.

I dunno, whatever, it was exciting.

So then we went to lunch, I served Volpi a little Jesus along side a BLT panini. I said someone needed Jesus, and then I asked him if he had Jesus, and he said, "Not... really." And Chris told him that was the wrong answer because I've already given Chris the Jesus talk several times. But I was kind and I told him that regardless I would pray for him and that his life would be blessed, but not in that creepy way that some Christians do it. Or in that way that makes someone feel inferior or uncomfortable. Speaking of serving Jesus, Amanda singled me out. Glad someone recognizes my greatness.

Wait, I'm trying to be humble now. I am nothing. But awesome.

(Okay, I'll work on that)

My friend Jenny is mad at me though because I went and ate with them instead. :( If feel sad because of this, but I apologized and I'll draw her a picture of horses to compensate for my lack of consideration.

I say au revoir, because I have a little french due for the morrow, and, for my free night, I plan to beat the turtles out of my script. Enjoy life. Eat pizza and get some rest.

-Me.

Updatles

Why do I always use numbers?

1. So, today I am at the library. After a pack of free twizzlers; Abigail had some odd bout with the vending machine, which she is now eating in the no eating zone while commentating on the weirdos in the library, questioning why I come here in the first place. She's the weirdo for following me here in the first place. Stalker.

Am not! she says. Well, I may not know much but cat rubbing isn't usually part of a normal cousin-to-cousin relationship.

Then again, normalcy isn't quite a word that describes our relationship (You know, sort of like Scotty and Sam. I know what I saw.)

2. So I locked myself out my car the yesterday. I went to the hair dressers, and I started looking for my keys. Couldn't find them, so I went out to the car and they were in the ignition. Luckily I had barely cracked the passenger side mirror and a few gentleman were more than welcome to come to my assistance. After sticking crowbars and metal rods in my window, they ran into the mexican place and borrowed a metal hanger. It was then that my door was unlocked. I went to take my keys out of the ignition, and it was still running. What is generally bad about it all is I could have just rolled down the automatic window with the hanger and unlocked it that way. Sometimes my stupidity gets the best of me.

3. So I have this new mouthwash. It's called Smart Rinse by Listerine. It's so amazing because when I spit it out, it tints all the food and bacteria so I can see that it's working. I have 'Berry Shield' flavour, and it is so ubberly delicious that I just want to drink it.

4. Abigail is really acting like a freak. She keeps feeding me twizzlers and winking at me. I am not sure if I should be creeped out or...creeped out. The twizzler just fell out my mouth. I think it is because my mouth always seems to be agape.

5. I had my first tomato this year yesterday. When I ate it, I think I went to heaven and back. I could almost write an ode to tomatoes I love them soooo much. Yum... yum... yum.

6. Guess what? I am going to be in the talent show this year. Not for any real talent of course; Taylor is controlling all of me. We are doing "They Both Reached For The Gun" from Chicago, and I am going to be a puppet. I hope it will be good, but when it comes to moving my body, it just usually doesn't end well.

7. I get to register to VOTE! I have been waiting for this moment all my life. Who cares about getting to smoke and buying dirty videos at 18? I GETS TO VOOOTES! The greatest thing though, is that on the registration form it has a place to draw a map of where you live if you don't have a street address. So basically, if you are a hobo, you can vote. Stellar, eh?

8. I saw some old pictures of my future husband in leather pants today. And my goodness, he is a looker!

-Me.

Life Cereal.

I feel like using numbers...

1. For some odd reason, I feel fairly pressured right now. I have to do some sketches in art, and on top of all my other work it's like...oof. That's a kicked in the stomach oof by the way.

2. Canned yams are amazing. With cinnamon... Oh. My. Gollystocketenburger.

3. Pre Cal is getting easier. It helps when you listen and stop drawing pictures of dead squirrels for Abigail. I feel bad, but I'm rather ADD this year, so I'll try to overlook it.

4. I am slightly scared to see 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' I'm not going to lie. All the...scantly dressed individuals doing gosh knows what...uh. Mom is still a tad bit apprehensive about me seeing it, something about "Jesus would be displeased."
I daresay, he probably would be. If I was Jesus, I would be displeased.

5. Do you ever have bad habits that you can't seem to get rid off? Mine is talking bad about people behind their backs. Not people I like, but people I can't stand. I always say, "I'm going to fix this problem." But then I do it and I never think twice, then at night I'm like, "Well..."

6. Why do people change when they get to college? And not for the better, I might add. It's like every heathen impulse just breaks through like a rampaging hippo, and next thing you know, it's F this and F that, and lets booze it up, and heaven knows what else.

7. Speaking of college, I applied to Western today. Major? Well...
...
....
Ah, it's not that important.

8. HALLOWEEN! Oooo. Not as good as Christmas, but kind of next in line. I'm going as Elphaba from 'Wicked' and Abigail is going as Galinda from 'Wicked.' 'Wicked' I say, not the 'Wizard of Oz.' That one is so overplayed.

9. Abigail's a grouch today. "Don't aggravate me." Like she never does to me. Gosh, pull that burr out of your hinny, Abby. And that whole "Previous obligations" spill...sheesh. Even though your tales about your gay piano teacher to rivet me so. Srsly. Omg.

10. I think I ate too much cinnamon. 'Cause I don't feel to swell right now.

11. I wish Andy Griffith came on later so I watch it instead of Mother watching the stupid football game. Garh.

12. So, the whole 'Dumbledore is Gay' thing has had a moment to settle in my brain, and I have came to this conclusion about the whole thing, countless others agreeing:
a. She did it for publicity, and he was never gay throughout the books.
b. Once love was so important to Dumbledore, and, essentially, the theme throughout the whole book series is love prevails all, you think he would be like, 'Oh, yeah and Harry, I was in love with Grindelwald. Just, um, so you know. Did you get the memo? I'm gay. Yeah."
c. Out of the hundreds and hundreds of Harry potter pages, you think he would say this about himself at least once.
d. It's a kid book. No one even expected it. Out of all the messed up and demented relationships people have come up with, I don't think one included Dumbles being gay.

...

I'm done.

...me.

PULL!

*3 minutes later*

BANG.

approximatly.


Hay... el futball game is tonight. Am I going? Nopers. I shall be at play practice. Banging the drum. Which reminds me of my cousin who is obsessed with drummers. She has this saying, "Save a drum, bang a drummer."

*sigh* Teenagers confuse me. They want to all grow up, yet they don't even know how to act grown up. I may still do dumb things but at least I don't say and do perverted things. [Most] Adults don't go out and get wasted... only dumb teenagers who thing they are cool do that. Fools.

I hate alcohol. I always have and I always will. It is compleatly useless in society and serves absolutly no purpose other than recking homes and creating hobos. Or at least it takes 85% of the credit in making hobos. The rest is lazyness, and various other emotional or other other stuff. Dur.

Hobo Statistics come in pie charts.

-Me.

I'm so excited...

...

and i just can't hide it... why? Welll....

... ah, never mind.